When you live in a small place like
Amman; its likely that
wherever you go, you will run into people you know or knew at a point
of time.
This happened to me lately in two
different occasions, and boy they were
different.
The first time; it happened at
Safeway where I usually do my grocery shopping. I was so absorbed in my
task
going through the place and walking from one aisle to another to find
my stuff
(on a side note; this has become a difficult thing after the expansion
they
did; Safeway now is too big!). Anyway; while I am doing that; I hear
someone
calling my name. I turned around to come face to face with someone I
really
wanted to erase from my memory.
She was standing there with her
family surrounding her; her husband ogled me and then left her side
pretending
to look around, and to tell you the truth; I never thought about why he
did
that, because I couldn’t care less.
I really did not know why she wanted
to talk to me; after all; we were not friends, we have nothing in
common and
she never approved of my “actions” back at uni.
I wished I could have turned away
and just left her standing there; but being the polite me; I shook her
hand and
smiled, and she started chit chatting about her work, her life, her
kids … blah
blah blah
I haven’t seen her in 11 years, and
all she could ask me was: did you gain some weight?
Did I gain some
weight??????
God! What a stupid question! As if
it is not so obvious that I did gain weight.
She did not ask about where I work,
or if I got married or what I am doing now or if I am seeing some of
the old
friends … NO!! she just was interested in my
weight!!
For a moment; I thought: how do you
answer such a question? And I decided to go for the simplest form of an
answer
and said: yes, I did.
If I told her that I am suffering
from a bad case of lazy thyroid; and that stupid doctors of Dubai gave
me wrong
medication for a year … etc., she would have thought that I am
justifying my
situation in fear of her judgment, so I decided to keep my mouth shut
and say
bye with a smile.
The second time happened today, but
it was Cozmo this time. I heard her calling my name and I turned around
to see
an old friend whom I lost contact with a long time ago; I was actually
happy to
see her. She introduced me to her son (5.5 years, pretty face and nice
hair),
he smiled and kissed me saying hi aunti. WOW! I really loved the kid.
We talked
and exchanged numbers to keep in touch from now on. It was a pleasant 5
minutes, and it felt like we were never apart.
What is so amazing about this is
that I realized that I have the same feeling towards these ladies as I
had a
decade ago; the one I liked I still like and the one that stood on my
nerves;
well, she still does.
This makes me think about reunions. If
we ever have one; would I be interested to go? Would I be comfortable
seeing
people I almost forgot about? Am I willing to put myself in a situation
where I
am judged according to how I look or my marital status or any shallow
standard
that shadows the way we are perceived?
Come to think of it; why would I do
that? And what would be the gain? Do I need anyone’s approval to feel
successful?
Well the answer is NO! N and
O
That was a stage, and it is over. There
is no need to go back and open closed wounds, because if you do; you
will never
know what you are going to get.
