When you live in a small place like
Amman; its likely that
wherever you go, you will run into people you know or knew at a point
of time.

This happened to me lately in two
different occasions, and boy they were
different.

The first time; it happened at
Safeway where I usually do my grocery shopping. I was so absorbed in my
task
going through the place and walking from one aisle to another to find
my stuff
(on a side note; this has become a difficult thing after the expansion
they
did; Safeway now is too big!). Anyway; while I am doing that; I hear
someone
calling my name. I turned around to come face to face with someone I
really
wanted to erase from my memory.

She was standing there with her
family surrounding her; her husband ogled me and then left her side
pretending
to look around, and to tell you the truth; I never thought about why he
did
that, because I couldn’t care less.

I really did not know why she wanted
to talk to me; after all; we were not friends, we have nothing in
common and
she never approved of my “actions” back at uni.

I wished I could have turned away
and just left her standing there; but being the polite me; I shook her
hand and
smiled, and she started chit chatting about her work, her life, her
kids … blah
blah blah

I haven’t seen her in 11 years, and
all she could ask me was: did you gain some weight?

Did I gain some
weight??????

God! What a stupid question! As if
it is not so obvious that I did gain weight.

She did not ask about where I work,
or if I got married or what I am doing now or if I am seeing some of
the old
friends … NO!! she just was interested in my
weight!!

For a moment; I thought: how do you
answer such a question? And I decided to go for the simplest form of an
answer
and said: yes, I did.

If I told her that I am suffering
from a bad case of lazy thyroid; and that stupid doctors of Dubai gave
me wrong
medication for a year … etc., she would have thought that I am
justifying my
situation in fear of her judgment, so I decided to keep my mouth shut
and say
bye with a smile.

The second time happened today, but
it was Cozmo this time. I heard her calling my name and I turned around
to see
an old friend whom I lost contact with a long time ago; I was actually
happy to
see her. She introduced me to her son (5.5 years, pretty face and nice
hair),
he smiled and kissed me saying hi aunti. WOW! I really loved the kid.
We talked
and exchanged numbers to keep in touch from now on. It was a pleasant 5
minutes, and it felt like we were never apart.

What is so amazing about this is
that I realized that I have the same feeling towards these ladies as I
had a
decade ago; the one I liked I still like and the one that stood on my
nerves;
well, she still does.

This makes me think about reunions. If
we ever have one; would I be interested to go? Would I be comfortable
seeing
people I almost forgot about? Am I willing to put myself in a situation
where I
am judged according to how I look or my marital status or any shallow
standard
that shadows the way we are perceived?

Come to think of it; why would I do
that? And what would be the gain? Do I need anyone’s approval to feel
successful?

Well the answer is NO! N and
O

That was a stage, and it is over. There
is no need to go back and open closed wounds, because if you do; you
will never
know what you are going to get.

Wear a
smile and have friends; wear a scowl* and have wrinkles

– George Eliot,
1819-1880, English Female Novelist (pen name of Mary Ann Evans)

I was talking to one of my best friends last night,
and he was telling me that if I force myself to smile; I will feel internally
happy and this will reflect on everything I do or say; it will even affect
those around me and they will start feeling happy as well.

Thinking about what he said; I believe there is a ring
of truth to this and that it does make a difference to you and those around you
if you were wearing a smile rather than a gloomy face.

We all remember the great saying that you move less
muscles in your face if you smile and this translates to less wrinkles (I don’t
think that cosmetic companies would appreciate what I am saying here … kidding J)

This small humanly gesture that we call a smile; it
makes your face look more beautiful, yet we are so mean to ourselves and those
around us by not smiling. It has become a culture in Jordan that we Jordanians do not
smile, and keeping the scowl is actually “wajaha” or reflects
seriousness. But who said that a mile contradicts with this? Why do we deprive
ourselves from this feeling?  

So remember that after you brush your teeth, show them
off by smiling even if to yourself in the mirror, and see what this does to
your morale. Verify these theories of the connection between smiling and
happiness; maybe these guys are right after all and we have been left out all
that past time.

Don’t forget what they say: Keep smiling because you
will never know who is falling in love with your smile.

*Scowl: Frown