Look what Jordanian Santa has arranged for us

These hand-made crafts are available for purchase; if you are interested … drop me a line

Merry Christmas to you all

Sometimes I look at my life and what I had achieved so
far and can’t help but ask myself: is this really what I want? Was this what I dreamed
of all these years? Did I always know what I wanted and went after it?

Sadly; the answer is NO

Growing up was so exhausting! It was bad enough that
we had to struggle to become anything in a community that cripples any attempt
to breaking free.

All I remember is my mom threatening me to tell my
father if I insisted on doing anything she did not approve. My dad was the
monster; when we heard him pull the car inside the garage; we used to crash in
each other (me and my sisters) to run away from the way. It felt like anything
he would have said to us, would be a punishment of some kind.

When I started developing some guts to raise my voice
in projection; I remember that I was always on mom’s black list. She thought
that I would cause her some problems with dad and he would end up accusing her
of not raising me well. All I remember is that I was boiling from the inside
trying to break free from all the nonsense and just be able to dream and make
something in my life.

I always wanted to sing. Some of you might say that
it’s almost the dream of the majority, but I was actually good at it and I have
a nice voice. Back at the university; I went to the music section and did a
test for my voice with the music teacher. He listened to me like someone who
had just discovered something, and he wanted me to sing with the pianist
“solo”, because I had a pure voice (quoting him), but I was afraid to
take any action because I would be killed if I did (another honor killing
form), so I thought that my life was worth more.

Now and after all these years; I watch my past life
like a movie and I realize that I did not live any of my dreams; they were all
crushed at the rocks of reality. I ask myself; when do we say that it’s too
late? When does it become too late to think of your unfulfilled dreams? Is it
ever over for one to think of lost dreams?

I know one thing; I will never do this to my children;
I will help them pursue and fulfill their dreams no matter how much I don’t like
them or approve of them; it is their lives after all and not mine!!!