Global and worldwide is the range where this phenomenon extends; sad and severe are the consequences.

Relationships and friction between people creates conflicts, differences and stubbornness make these conflicts sink in and become huge obstacles for all those involved. Humans are all about feelings and emotions; that is what distinguishes them after all; they have feelings.

One of the main phenomena that grab my attention over and over again is domestic violence. It perplexes me how a person (man or woman) would use violence as a means of proving status or authority, or even as a way of expressing anger towards something or someone.

This is a phenomenon that is widely spread in Jordan and that is so unfortunate and sad. More often than not; the party with the better status in the household is the one who tends to be abusive and violent, and in our world; it is almost always the man.

Our ancestors used to consider hitting a woman to be a big disgrace and will soil his honor and insult his manhood. What happened to our men ever since? Is it the fact that women have changed and grown a lot? Is that men cannot and will not accept women as equals and respect them as humans? Do they use fear to maintain their status as the ultimate authority in the house? What is it that makes them react with their hands?

I cannot deny that our culture has grown so much and small changes have been quite evident on our people. However; a lot takes place behind closed doors and many women are being violated and abused in most horrific ways. They are being beaten; insulted, humiliated, degraded … you name it.

I am sure that I will be accused of being a feminist (not that I am not!) and some will say that it was mentioned in the Holy Quran that a man can discipline his wife by beating her and I am sure I will hear all sorts of arguments, however; this does not change facts and it certainly will not make me change the way I look at this issue. Men need to take two steps backward and look at the situation as outsiders and then make a just judgment. Would he accept that a man takes liberty in beating his daughter just because he is her husband? When his daughter comes to him crying and humiliated, would he tell her to shut up and go back to get beaten again? Would he accept that she lives as a broken soul?

If a man thinks of his daughter before he beats his wife, would he do it?

Nothing justifies beating another human being even if you had authority over him/her. God blessed and privileged us with brains to think and gave us the ability to talk so that we can communicate using language, not hands. What we are witnessing though; more women are joining the club of battered and abused women; they become broken from the inside, they lose their humanity and turn into something that is far away from who they once were; how is that fair?

The abusive husband tends to adopt this poisonous behavior with his children as well and it is more likely that when a man abuses his wife, he would be abusive towards his kids as well, and all of a sudden; this becomes normal starting a vicious cycle or battered generations of boys who will grow to become abusive husbands and fathers, and girls who will grow to become abused and battered wives.

Men who do this make me sick; there is always a choice between humanity and animalism, and there are many valid ways for the man to prove his manhood and masculinity without turning into a monster who only sees fear in the eyes of his family members. Fear can be planted but respect is earned guys, if you are facing serious problems with your wives that lead you to losing control; maybe it is time to look for solutions rather than making the problems worse. How would they like it if the roles were reversed and they were the ones getting beaten and humiliated? Would they still think that it is not a big deal for a man to hit his wife?

Some study stated that 78% of women in Jordan approve or even support that men should hit their wives. Let me tell you what I think about such women; they make me even sicker, and they are disgrace to all women kind. It is a fact that the worst crimes are those of passion because they are triggered by deep rage, and this is the logical evolution of anger that is causing domestic violence; is that what we want our community to be?

For all the abusive men out there; start treating women with more respect and humanity; put yourself in their place and see how you would feel if you got beaten and insulted, and then act. For all the women out there; stand up for yourselves for God’s sake; if you continue to take this treatment; you are not only ruining your own life, but also the lives of your children for many generations to come. Both men and women share the responsibility and must work together to inject some positive change in their lives and the community at large.

Time to raise the STOP sign to all shapes of domestic violence; enough is enough!!

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