One of fellow bloggers; Qwaider is arguing that taking people or things for granted is a good thing and the use of the phrase “taking …… for granted” (fill in the blank: me, us, our love, our family … etc.) is just a cliché and something we are repeating just because some hot shot Hollywood star has started the bug and we just caught it like fire.

Although I see the point that he is making; when you love someone, you should be able to depend on them being there for you in sickness and health, better or worse, richer or poorer until death does them apart. However; not taking your loved ones for granted does not really conflict with the above, in fact; it plays a significant role in making the relationship grow stronger and deeper.

So, why is it bad to take people for granted?

Because when you do, you stop putting effort to make them feel loved and cherished, hence; they might feel left out and ignored, they might not find you welcoming when they are in need of more support or love. Taking them for granted is easily translated into your lack of interest or care.

People are about feelings, they are a bunch of emotions that are continuously boiling under the surface, especially for us women; we need nurturing and affection, and it is not about buying us expensive stuff. Now; I don’t deny that some women are materialistic enough that expensive stuff are the most important things and are their standards of preferences, but there are many women out there who are interested in warm emotions and feelings; a few nice words, a hug, a kiss or even as little as a smile sent across the dining table is more than enough of a reassurance, although an expensive gift every now and then is always welcomed 

Qwaider gives us an example of us taking our parents for granted and yet they are always there for us providing us with their unconditional love, but this makes us really bad sons and daughters; ones that do not put enough effort to show their parents their appreciation and gratitude towards the people who gave them their lives.

Take it from someone who has been taken for granted; it does not feel good. You feel like everything you give is expected and you are not appreciated or thought highly of, no matter what you do, people will always accept more of you because you are grateful they are taking you for granted because this means you are the anchor in their life. This leaves you drained and exhausted where you always give and do not expect or get anything in return because you ought to be happy that you are being taken for granted.

Excuse me Qwaider; but things do not work this way. When you love someone enough, you would want to show them over and over just how much you love them and how grateful you are for having them in your life. You would not feel obligated to do so, it would be something that comes right from your heart, and when it starts to feel like an obligation or a burden; then there must be something wrong in the relationship or maybe you are being taken for granted and not liking it.

When you have a new baby; you have to take care of it, feed it when it is hungry, give it water when it is thirsty; give it love and warmth to provide a good environment for it to grow to its best; you keep doing that for ever. You yourself said that our parents keep loving us unconditionally no matter how bad or ungrateful we are. When you decide to grow a plant in your house or backyard; you don’t put it there and depend on the plant knowing that it is enough that you chose to plant it there; if you don’t water it and provide necessary soil and fertilizers; it will die. Relationships are not that different; if you don’t care for it and keep nurturing and taking care of it, it will die; yes, love dies if neglected or taken for granted.

We all know the saying; you wouldn’t know how much something or someone really means to you until you have already lost them, and guess what is the easiest and fastest way to lose your beloved things or people? It is taking them for granted!!

Who would have thought five years ago that something like what took place would ever do? Who would have believed that such event will have such an impact on life and people?

Wars are not new to us, buildings falling, people dieing, hatred and vengeance; they are all not new and have been passed generation after generation since life itself was born, so what makes 9/11 five years ago stand out and become a milestone in the world history to the extent that some is classifying history and pre- 9/11 and post- 9/11?

I still remember that day as if it was only yesterday; I was in Dubai at the time. I had just accepted a job with Bayt.com and was in Dubai for my induction and training. We were located in Dubai Internet City. That morning; I took a walk to the food cort to get myself a bottle of water; as I entered the hall, TV screen around were playing the horrific scene of the two towers on fire; I did not know what caused it by then and I went back to the office.

I told my colleagues what I saw and they did not believe me at the beginning. They tried to log on CNN but it was overloaded and could not be opened, so we went to BBC and they had already uploaded the video of the plane crashing into the trade center; everything went silent.

Some of my ex-colleagues had their relatives or friends in New York and they thought that they might actually be in one of the towers for matters concerning work. They started calling to make sure their relatives were safe and unharmed.

No one can deny that this was a human tragedy like any other war activity. The huge negaive impact resulting from that day is still ongoing and will never end. It indeed changed so many views and conviction whether on our side or the Americans side, and yes I do believe that it changed the world completely because the world is built upon people and people changed after that day.

People tend to generalize and stereotype individuals coming from the same ethnicity and/or religion to be the same as their convictions; they never stop to think that the majority might actually be different. I was reading through some of the blogs today about this painful memory, and some argued that Americans hate Arabs now and I bleieve that this is the saddest and most negative result of this event, although I believe that the majority are being cautious and seriously who can blame them?

I know how they must have felt when they were following the news and watching the towers collapse over and over; I felt the same when Amman attacks took place last November and I was really angry and sad even though I had no relatives or even friends in the places that were hit.

What I am trying to say that there is nothing worth losing human lives in bulk regardless of where and how it happens; human life is and should be sacred to all of us.

I say that 9/11 changed us, not the world and this on its own is a major milestone in our history!!