What is the connection between the events that took place in Egypt on the first day of Eid and the uncovered meat vs. cats’ theory? What makes hundreds of men (although I can’t and won’t describe them as men, but that’s how they are classified anatomically and genetically) turn into a herd of bulls in heat? What makes them unite under a shameful action and charge forward without any consideration to religion, morals, culture or tradition?

Oppression? Frustration? Revenge? Proving a point or just simple ignorance?

What happened to the oriental Arab values that they kept pushing down our throats? The Arab man is jealous by nature and would feel bad for the women of his country of they were treated badly or unjustly, the Arab man is always keen on protecting the women of his country even if they were not his flesh and blood, the Arab man demands that the women of his country dress modestly and cover up because that’s what religion and tradition say they should do and because they want to protect them from the wolves in the streets waiting to rape them if they showed an arm or a leg like uncovered meat calling for strayed cats to attack and rip it apart, … etc.

The Arab man this and the Arab man that … bull shit!

These guys really gave us some great examples!! From the mufti who blurted out the infamous theory of uncovered meat vs. cats, to any of those guys who committed assault against those poor women in down town Cairo a few days ago; they are no different in my opinion because they both considered women to be pieces of meat that were created to satisfy their hunger … shame on them!

What is the message that we are supposed to be getting from all of this? That women’s place is home and if she goes out, she will be violated in the worst possible way? That we have become monstrous creatures driven by their animalistic urges? What can we understand from this ugliness? They have managed to prove one point though; it is that there is no connection between violating and raping a woman and her dress code; they did not differentiate between covered or not, Muslim or not, Egyptian or not, they were hungry angry bulls in heat and fighting over the few females that were cursed to be there at the time.

What we have, is a morals crisis; we suffer from poor raising standards, no proper guidance or references, no close monitoring from the parents, illiteracy, ignorance and denial.

I have to say that I am happy that I live in Jordan; when I read about those incidents, I could not help but imagine how things will be if something like this happened here; regardless of how and where I imagine this to happen, I always came to the same conclusion; in Jordan, if something of this nature was to start, people will not wait for the police to react and interfere; they would take matters in their own hands and not only by isolating the girls and trying to protect them, but doomed is the guy or guys who attempt such a shameful irresponsible act, because they will not live enough to talk about it.

To all women in Egypt; we feel for you and support you; the ordeal you had to go through and deal with is something that we cannot easily comprehend or absorb; I cannot claim that I know how you feel because I don’t know what I would have done if I were in your place; may God bless you and the few good men who are standing up for you and the rest of us!

You must know by now how much I am against censorship, especially when it is against brilliant content like Mahmood’s Den!

In Bahrain; they are shutting down the sound of reason by blocking this smart and informative blog which makes me wonder when we will start moving forward and give up on dragging our people backward; all the way to ages that are darker than ignorance!

Please help us unblock Mahmood’s Den by signing the petition; get your voice heard and help us bring Mahmood’s Den back to all its fans in Bahrain!

Spread the word and link to the petition!

No one can argue that good friends are rare to find and that friends who like you for you without any hidden agendas and no preconceptions are even rarer than the first type. You find yourself a good friend and say; I can talk to this person about anything, I can tell them everything, I can be transparent with them, speak my mind and express my true feelings and not fearing being judged or looked at in a different way.

Friendship as I understand is when you are there for your friend whenever they need you or don’t need you, i.e. being there always, sharing their joy and sorrow, picking them through their low moments, understanding where they are coming from when they are angry, frustrated, desperate, depressed, happy … etc.

What makes friends so special is that you get to pick them and keep them closer to you. We don’t get to pick our families or relatives, but we do get to pick our friends. We have the opportunity to meet people who are a match to us in the way they think or feel, people we can communicate with and have fun with.

Sometimes we go through difficult times in our lives and feel that we are alone, no one can understand or relate to what we are going through. Only friends pull us through such times and help us out by being nonjudgmental, supporting, loving and most importantly; patient. When you crack under the pressure of your life and its demands, you need someone strong to help you handle that pressure and come out of it a stronger person.

This friend might need to be strong enough to make us see our mistakes and confront us with our fears, help us see through ourselves and reach deep down to find the real cause of our problems and work on solving them.

In the state of panic that we all go through when we are facing a problem or a critical situation; we seldom control our ability of listening and responding, and more often than not, we become aggressive and offensive; we might unintentionally hurt those who are trying to help us and be there for us by shutting them out and keeping everything inside. Good friends stick around in such circumstances and forgive you because they believe in you and know that you are reacting to a certain variable in your life that will soon go away and you will be back to yourself again.

But do all stick around? Do all take the pressure? Do all go the extra mile for their chosen mates and friends?

Of course not!

Some will be waiting for you to make a mistake to walk out of your life, some will attack back and add to your problems, some will withdraw quietly and make all sorts of excuses for not being there, and some will become your enemies; let me rephrase that; they will become your worst enemies because they know so much about you; and that is what I call: “frienimies”.

So, what are we supposed to do? Stop trusting people? Refrain from getting closer to anyone? Practice more caution? What are we to do? How can we know that this friend will not turn into an enemy one day? How can we take it when it happens for real?

I have a friend; I am not really sure if we are still friends; he was supportive and caring, he always said that he wanted the best for me, always said that he will always be there for me, always said that I can tell him anything and confide in him as if I was taking to myself, he said that he wanted to see me happy and content and he said that I can always rely and depend on him. I told him that my experience tells me that I should not be so trusting, that I cannot depend on anyone being there for me, that I can only rely on myself but he kept arguing that he will prove me wrong.

I might have consumed his support, I might have gotten carried away with relying on him being there or maybe I have reached a point where I took him for granted, but what happened lately; is that he started caring about my friends more than he cared about me, maybe because he approves their lifestyle more than he does mine, or maybe he feels that they are more worthy of his support because their way of life matches his ideas and conceptions. I don’t know what happened, but he was slipping away, became less tolerant and less supportive, more judgmental and aggressive and finally slipped away and wouldn’t even answer my messages any more.

Is he only angry? I don’t know because he wouldn’t answer me; I don’t know why he would have gotten angry in the first place. Has he become a frienemy? Maybe; I have learned to expect everything and accept anything. Will he come back and take his best friend status again? No idea and no expectations. Have I tried to understand what happened and why he did this? YES! Is he reading these lines and will he know that he is meant by this post? Definitely! What will he do about that? I don’t know!

Last but not least; I will quote our dear prophet (PBUH) when he said: Love your beloveds moderately as they might become your hated one day, and hate your hated moderately as they might become your beloveds one day!

أحبب حبيبك هوناُ ما عسى أن يكون بغيضك يوماً ما … وابغض بغيضك هوناً ما عسى أن يكون حبيبك يوماً ما

When you want to write about a pleasant experience; it is a must that you are in a good mood so that you can give the story its right flavor and reflect the true essence of the experience. This Eid; I had a very nice experience that is worth writing about, but the flu delayed this post a little because of the bad mood it caused.

On the first day of Eid; I met one of the people that are on my “must meet” list; if I say that this was a pleasant refreshing encounter, that would be an understatement!

The land of the Nile sent us a present for this Eid; Sandmonkey was here and we enjoyed his visit exactly like he did and maybe more. He contacted me and said that he will be spending his Eid vacation in Amman; this was more than a nice surprise to me because I enjoy reading his blog and have heard about him from mutual friends, so you can imagine that I was anxious to finally meet him personally.

When I went to the hotel to pick him up; he greeted me with a lovely smile that promised me a day that is full of joy and laughs. We started out by going to Canvas to have lunch where we were joined by Jad, Bakkouz and Roba. The guys hit it the minute they said hello; I expected that they would although SM was reluctant and skeptical about him getting along with Bakkouz after their infamous encounter and he was not sure about Jad because this was the first time he hears of him; boy I am glad they got along and became friends

After lunch; we wanted to go for a cup of coffee and argeeleh for SM. Roba recommended that we go to a place next to Salute because they have a nice setting, but unfortunately; both places did not start their service before 6, so we headed to Old View Café that was closed and no one would answer our calls. Our last hope was Books @ Café and thank God it was open and serving everything we wanted. SM loved the place and found what he was looking for; we sat on the balcony and had a great time.

We discussed many issues and talked about things that concern Egyptians, Jordanians and Arabs in general. We agreed on almost all topics discussed and I can say that there was a nice harmony going on.

SM was everything I imagined him to be and even more; he is smart, outgoing, open-minded, bold, fearless and most importantly cynical. Add to all that his sense of humor; we really enjoyed some good laughs. He talks about serious things in a light manner that does not leave you space to miss the humor yet get the basic idea of what he is aiming at; bottom line; you cannot afford not to like the guy like we all did.

I had to leave them early because mom kept calling me saying that we have a full house and everyone was asking about me; first day of Eid and that is the normal practice. I was supposed to meet him again but flu stopped all plans and left me in a really bad mood because I missed seeing SM before he left and enjoying his company one more time.

I am glad that SM enjoyed his stay in Amman and maybe next time we will take him out of Amman to show him more of Jordan’s beauty.

It seems that I caught a bad flu the first couple of days from this long Eid holiday and I have been suffering since. Even if you were in a good mood, fever, sneezing and coughing guarantee that for you, so you can imagine how this holiday was so far.

Adding to flu severe symptoms, I have had more than my fair share of bad news, things that you never expect to hear or witness, yet; you see them happening and watch with astonishment and sadness; a question hangs over your head: how could this happen and how would people be so clueless and cruel?

It makes me feel depressed when I see men in our society do the same mistake again and again; they leave the most important decision in their life for others to make for them, then after a short while, they start complaining about it, and the result is more broken homes, more divorced wives and more kids getting lost between their estranged parents. What makes the situation even worse is that they don’t listen to advice and go ahead with what others planned for them; it is like they do not want to claim responsibility for failure when it happens or find themselves excuses to justify their actions later.

Getting married has become casual for a large part of the community, men and women get married at an earlier age, their parents pay for everything, they even choose for them; the man’s family chooses his bride and the woman’s family accept the proposal of the highest bidder, then they cover the expenses. The end result is a couple of strangers living under the same roof and governed by a contract called marriage, they do not understand or appreciate the value of this holy commitment and end up underestimating the consequences of their actions, hence; divorce becomes easier and lighter.

Infidelity is becoming a major problem in our community as well; I am hearing stories from all sources that the concept is more common than we would like to accept or believe. I think everyone will agree that this is not a good sign, especially when we consider all the negative consequences of such actions.

Not discussing this further; I was really looking forward to this vacation, only to be disappointed with coming down with the flu and hearing bad news that drained all my positive energy and left me weak and gloomy!!

Under the title “Reform 4 Excellence“, our Muna Nijem launched her election campaign. I really feel obligated to mention and highlight this on my blog especially after what I read on Natasha’s and Khalaf’s blogs.

I have also received an email from her election team, Therefore; I am posting that email exactly as it is!

Reform 4 Excellence - Jordan’s Candidate for ITU Secretary General

Thank you very much for giving me a few minutes of your time. I am running for ITU Secretary-General, and I shall explain to you why I believe that I am particularly qualified for this position, and what I propose to accomplish if elected.

In brief, I believe that the ICT revolution is only gaining momentum, and that it has a long way to go. As a result, the ITU has an important leadership role to play, and it needs new ideas and improved procedures to face the challenges ahead. The ITU needs to:

* ENGAGE all Members and stakeholders in a dialogue focused on the future

* EMPOWER the Private Sector to play a greater role in the employment of telecom for development

* ENERGIZE the ICT sector to contribute to global economic development

* ENCOURAGE ITU staff through innovative and transparent incentive procedures

* EXPAND the outreach to include civil society institutions and special interest groups

* RISE to the level of the technical, political, and social challenges posed by the new era of the Internet and next generation networks (NGN)

* REORDER priorities to focus greater attention on making ICT as an engine for economic development through a private-public sector partnership

* RESPOND to the needs of the youth, who are the future, and the needs of groups such as women and people with special needs

* REFORM by instituting open and transparent procedures

If elected, I will not lose sight of key elements of the ITU’s mission. In particular, I will focus on how the ITU can help Members to employ ICT as an engine for building a better future for all nations, rich and poor, developed and developing, technologically advanced or emerging. While I know that no one can predict the future, I can commit to providing the leadership that the ITU needs to fulfill its mission.

Muna Nijem
JORDAN’s Candidate for ITU Secretary-General
Website: www.munanijem.net
Blog: www.munanijem.net/blog

· The candidate endorsed by His Majesty King Abdullah II of Jordan
· The only candidate endorsed by the League of Arab States
· The candidate endorsed by the Organization of Islamic Conference
· The first woman candidate ever
· The only candidate from Asia

My best friend and devoted reader “Abdullah” sent me this nice clip.

I bet you will be as surprised as I was when I learned that we have been doing it the wrong way all along! Who would have thought that the least socially acceptable behavior in such situations is actually the healthiest for us and those around us??

Watch!!!

Now will you remember this piece of information when you need it?

I came across a list titled: “48 Tips to a Happy Marriage”. I thought that they are worth mentioning and maybe exploring. I wonder how much of these are followed by couples in our society and do they find them relevant and applicable?
Since I am still single; I will comment about each one from my own perspective and state what I think about it; by that; I am not dictating or promoting anything, I am just thinking in the form of writing.

The list goes as follows; if you become bored while going through them, stop and come back later because I found them very interesting and I am hoping you will do too:

1. Start each day with a kiss ~ I think this one is not that hard; on the contrary; it can be healthy and nice.

2. Wear your wedding ring at all times ~ most couples do wear the ring, however; their reasons might vary, so as long as they think of it as a sign of their commitment to their spouses, then they are on the safe side.

3. Date once a week ~ I believe this one is very healthy; maybe not as often as once a week, let’s say every other week or that a date can be inside your home and that you don’t have to go somewhere fancy to have it, you get the idea, right?

4. Accept differences ~ No one is perfect. However; healthy arguments are good for the relationship, hence; the most important thing would be learning how to compromise with one another.

5. Be polite ~ Please, thank you, you are welcome… these are not only meant for strangers; your own spouse and family should come first and you must always use these phrases inside your home.

6. Be gentle ~ a person is supposed to be the closest to his/her spouse, being gentle is crucial to keep them close enough or they will find that comfort elsewhere.

7. Give gifts ~ nice small gifts are appreciated every once in a while

8. Smile often ~ I would say: Smile Always because it is contagious and you are more likely to be smiled at when you show your teeth more often!!

9. Touch ~ intimacy between married people is very important and touching is a means of communication that reflects closeness, connection and love; it is your way of keeping the spark alive.

10. Talk about dreams ~ dreams of the future that is; if you don’t share your dreams with your spouse; then who?

11. Select a song that can be “our song” ~ this sounds like a cliché, but it can be nice, don’t you think?

12. Give back rubs ~ this means: be comforting both mentally and physically and if you don’t know how to give back rubs and massages; it is time to learn!

13. Laugh together ~ laughter is like smiling and as they say: it is medicine. When you share good laughs together; the fun grows in the relationship and you grow closer and stronger every day.

14. Send a card for no reason ~ another cliché? Maybe, but everyone likes to receive a nice “I love you” or “I miss you” notes every once in a while; it does boost one’s ego, doesn’t it?

15. Do what the other person wants before he or she asks ~ of course; you need to know your spouse so well to be able to do this one. I guess this comes with time as you grow to know each other but seek to get that knowledge; don’t assume that it will come to you!

16. Listen ~ this could be the most important one ever, but note that you should listen with empathy and not just hear what they are saying; you should get involved.

17. Encourage ~ positive support and being there for one another is also very important; seek their support and give them yours and be generous!

18. Do it his or her way ~ sometimes; you need to do things their way just to show how much you love them and respect their feelings.

19. Know his or her needs ~ what good is a spouse if he/she does not know the needs of their significant others? This should be your primary concern!

20. Compliment twice a day ~ everyone likes to hear something nice as a compliment; so give them that when it is due. It should not be literally twice but don’t be extreme by not giving at all or giving too much; just say something nice when you can.

21. Fix the other person’s breakfast ~ it doesn’t have to be breakfast in bed though!

22. Call during the day ~ but don’t over do it and be obsessed with calling him/her. Give them their space but also show them that you think of them by a 2-minutes phone call saying “how are you doing?”

23. Slow down ~ and don’t jump to conclusions; always give the benefit of the doubt and wait to hear them out.

24. Cuddle ~ yes; intimacy is very important and reflects love and deep feelings.

25. Ask for each others’ opinion ~ absolutely; whose opinion would you seek if not your spouse’s? Your decisions will reflect both your lives and not only your own, so their opinion is important for you to make the right move.

26. Show respect ~ all the time; whether you are alone or among others. Showing respect is more important than showing love.

27. Welcome the other person home ~ show enthusiasm when they come home and greet them; this means that you are happy because they are home now and that you were waiting for them!

28. Look your best ~ I understand that this is not easy to implement since we face different situations all day long, however; it does count that you make the effort to look your best every once in a while just for their sake and not only because you are going out or expecting guests, get the point?

29. Wink at each other ~ another cliché? Probably, but it can be any other gesture like smiling their way across the room or dining table, or holding their hand for a minute, just anything that appeals to both of you.

30. Celebrate birthdays in a big way ~ this does not mean a big party; just show them you care about their personal occasions.

31. Apologize ~ and don’t be too stubborn to admit that you made a mistake, because apologizing can clear things between you and allows you to move on from the conflict in a healthy manner.

32. Forgive ~ from the heart and not only in words; forgive them and mean it.

33. Set up a romantic getaway ~ this sounds like fun every once in a while; no harm in that!

34. Ask, “What can I do to make you happier?” ~ in other words; communicate and keep it going, because one’s needs might change along the way, and what they used to like a couple of years ago might not be appealing to them now; so make sure you ask them what does make them happy and do it.

35. Be positive ~ even when it is a negative era of your lives; always try to show the full half of the cup.

36. Be kind ~ and nice.

37. Be vulnerable ~ let those guards down and show your true colors.

38. Respond quickly to the other person’s request ~ show them that you are doing this because you care for them the most.

39. Talk about your love ~ again; communicate. Always tell them as well as show them how much you love them and how happy you are because of having them in your lives.

40. Treat each others’ friends and relatives with courtesy ~ even if you don’t like their family and/or friends, you treat them with respect and courtesy for the sake of your spouse; they deserve that much.

41. Send flowers every Valentine’s Day and anniversary ~ or just for the sake of it; flowers can say a lot on your behalf.

42. Admit when wrong ~ don’t be too arrogant to say it.

43. Be sensitive to each other’s sexual desires ~ more importantly; understand these desires and keep the communication going.

44. Pray for each other daily ~ and do it from the heart.

45. Watch sunsets together ~ just share such moments together; it does not have to be sunset; it can be anything else.

46. Say “I love you” frequently ~ don’t assume that they know you love them; everyone likes to hear it, so say it!

47. End the day with a hug ~ show closeness and again; intimacy.

48. Seek outside help when needed ~ if you reach a point when you feel that you cannot solve the problem alone; seek the help of someone you both trust before giving up, or go for professional help as a last resort. Never feel ashamed of that; seeking help is a lot better than giving up and doing your very best to solve your issues. You owe it to yourself and to them to do that.

I came across this animated map of the history of Middle East rulers along 5000 years. It is interesting and worth exploring

Here it is (you need flash to view this map)

Source: Maps of War