I am better than you!!
We always hear them say: watch for your thoughts as they might become words at any minute. As much as this is true, some people have mastered the art of lying; they perfected it to the extent that they believe the lies of their own invention and act upon it; how funny and pathetic at the same time.
What I am sure of though is that our thoughts get translated into actions no matter how hard we try to separate them; our actions are a logical extension of what and how we feel and without us even realizing it, we are telling the whole world what we are thinking through our actions and behaviors.
We try so hard to reflect an image that is positive and appealing to others so that they would love and admire us; it is human nature to seek love and admiration, but what happens when one cannot keep this up for long? What if their true colors were not that appealing after all? What if their aim was only to impress to make them feel good about themselves? What if their attempts are not that honest and genuine and therefore; they cannot maintain it for long?
I have come across a lot of those who have dual personalities; one for themselves and one for others. I could swear that they deserve an Oscar for their performance because they are really convincing, but all you have to do is aggravate them enough to trigger their true personality to surface and function in the light, and by doing that; giving yourself a chance at finally finding out and knowing maybe for the first time who they really are. If you are not prepared for such a moment, you are in for a shock that will keep you days wondering what went wrong and how you reached here.
Hundreds of people around us believe in their hearts that they are superior to us, better than us, more gifted, more talented, luckier, prettier, richer … you name it, but there will always be preference in the sentence and in the conviction.
What goes on in the minds of such people is a bubble that is so fragile and can be burst when they least expect it. I am no psychology expert to realize that what makes them think this way is their need to feel they are equal to others; their need to feel better and fill the emptiness that some people generate by their mere existence in their lives.
My guess is that the scenario goes like this: someone is prettier than me, then I have to overcome that lack of completeness is by being better in other areas, like being smarter, funnier, richer … etc.
The prettier they get, the more obsessed I become in being better in other areas. What makes matters worse is when I become so obsessed with these ideas that I become arrogant by nature, because I am trying to hide my insecurities by emphasizing on what I possess and others lack, and all that to make me feel good about myself and that I am not only “not less” but much better than the rest.
What makes this situation so sad is that being proud of who I really am, is the most attractive feature I can have. No matter who my family is and how much money we have, what makes me unique is my own personality and how genuine and honest I am with myself and others.
It really makes me so sad to see that in this time and age, we still have people who believe that their surname, bank accounts, clothes, cars, mobiles … etc. give them a better rank in life and makes them better than others and more worthy of life itself. When they feel that someone does not care about all these materialistic things and see right through them to that vulnerable soul that is hiding behind layers and layers of lies, they start attacking them by undermining them and trying to make them feel less worthy and less human, but they always forget that if these people did not care about these things in the beginning, chances are they won’t care about them now, and this attempt of making them feel less, is only pathetic and pitiful.
I wish that these people keep in mind that humility is the best feature of true great people and that the first thing prophets taught people is to be humble and down to earth and that God does not like arrogant snobbish people who keep measuring others with their own messed up scales, and losing them every single time.
Being richer is not being better, what you do with the money decides if you are better than others or not; what you do with what you possess determines your rank in life and not only owning them, so wake up all you arrogant people out there, your arrogance shows and it is not appealing, especially to intellectual people who think beyond what you are showing off with.
January 1st, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Wow, it’s been hectic down there for you.. damn, that’s why you’re not posting much lately
January 1st, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Well said! My Mom taught me when I was very small that I should never take pride in being the best. Whenever you do, someone better comes along and then where are you? Your foundation should be love of and confidence in yourself as compared to… yourself!
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:31 am
I have to come back to read it again…but DO know I think you are great (mentioned you in my Christmas 3 post!) and have been trying to call you…
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:07 am
Well said Khokha …. Well said …
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:10 am
I was going to abstain from commenting on this piece for the fear that you might misinterpret my intentions. But having said that I decided to come back and just say my opinion and leave it like that. I simply disagree with your basic premise, honesty and integrity aren’t what rules this world of ours these days, we live in an era where materialism and material gains are the norm of the every day living. People are spending every minute of their life these days thinking about how can they glean more and more material things before they leave this world. Faith, eternity, and the after life have fell in the cracks or even have become a thing of the past.It looks as if the only challenge that is facing us these days is limited to our abilities to either join the crowd that is out there trying to gather material wealth or be left out on the side walk watching every body else get the things that they want while we are watching. It is really a sad state of affair but regrettably it is a fact of life nowadays and we just have to get accustomed to getting along with it.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:15 am
I forgot to mention that intellect by itself has no material value unless it can be applied to a situation where by it will aid the intellectual to glean material wealth, but just left alone it is simply worthless. You simply can’t buy anything with intellect.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 am
Hatem,
As much as I agree with part of what you said, but I have to disagree with the other
You say that intellect cannot buy anything and I agree with that because you are not supposed to buy things with intellect … and let me tell you from experience that money too cannot buy everything … especially those things or people who are not for sale if you know what I mean …
If I agree with your theory, then I would be OK with all those rich tourists who believe that they can buy us with everything they buy off the shelves and we should not be offended or angry when they express that we are cheap … if someone is richer … this does not make them better and it certainly does not mean that we should accept their arrogance because we are less fortunate when it comes to bank accounts … and I still insist that what they do with their money is what counts … and I will still say “NO” to anyone who thinks that I can be bought or that I should accept being degraded, humiliated and insulted just because they have more of these materialistic things but cannot hold a decent conversation … to me and this is my personal opinion .. I will choose intellect over money any time
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:55 am
May be you wont compromise any of your stalwart fundamental believes but there are people that are very near and dear to your heart that will : Perhaps a sister, a brother, an aunt or an uncle, a co worker, a neighbor. This world is full of people who will drool at the sight and color of any currency, and for the right price anything become for sale. So in one way or another it will impact you even indirectly even when you aren’t an accomplice as you may end up being one by mere association. In some extreme circumstances people will even justify sin even when they know that it is a sin.Intellect in my opinion is good if you can employ it as a force of change but if it stays dormant, it is good for nothing. I have been around people with no high school diploma that made it to the top and I have also been around people with the highest level of education that remained mediocre. case in point: Morals as well as principles are dynamic and not static, this world is divided between the haves and the havenots, the strongest militarily & economically amongst us is the one that will come out victorious when everything else fails. These are some of my core believes.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
And one more thing, the only way you can be degraded, humiliated and insulted is that if you allow it to happen, if on the other hand you wont allow it & you would be able to stop in its infancy & it will not escalate.Though I’m not worried, I think that you are a very strong girl.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
Hatem,
You are absolutely right … I have met some of those who made it and are intellect despite the fact they are uneducated and met some of those who have the highest degrees and are still even below mediocre and no money in the world can make them better or look better
I guess I am transparent because you know my true colors … I am strong and it is because of the fact that I did not accept to be degraded, humiliated and insulted that I was attacked in the first place … but I know how to stand up for myself and I told them that they really make me laugh and pity them because they are just so shallow … not everyone or everything can be bought … some things are just not for sale no matter what
January 3rd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Way to go Khalidah, you look like you mastered the skills of swimming with the sharks without allowing them to eat you alive.Don’t let any individual, corporation, or even the state to impose their suzerainty over you.
Not long ago I lost a job because of some of the things that you mentioned in your post and when I went home I thought that I’ll never find a comprable job paying the same salary that I was making at the time, but guess what, and God is my witness, when I found my next job the salary was exactly double that of what I was making in my previous job– a 100% salary increase. Like the old Arab adage suggests : Don’t hate something because it may turn out to be good for you.Regards.
January 7th, 2007 at 5:30 am
great post as usual