I guess that it is not a secret that I am a super fan of VIVA Magazine for so many reasons, but I am not going to talk about this now 
VIVA has published an article of mine in their March issue and I cannot begin to describe, how excited, happy, proud and did I mention excited? 
Since I am so happy about this and everything, well I thought that I should at least share it with my dear friends and readers by posting it on my blog, so here it is and I hope you like it
No trains to Marrigeville? See why Khalidah El Mufleh says Singletown is just fine …
Hello, my name is Khalidah, and I am a 34-year-old single woman, which in our society, I suppose, makes me a spinster.
The word spinster conjures up a mental image of a childless, frumpy woman who is somewhat depressed, longing to be like other “normal” women. Indeed, in books and in movies, this very issue is portrayed as a young woman’s – and probably her whole family’s – worst nightmare. The spinster is always the desperate, unhappy woman willing to compromise anything just to be rid of the dreadful fate of being a singleton for life; she might even accept being a second wife or marrying a much older man to run away from the “Spinsterhood Ghost” as it is known in Arabic.
Interestingly enough, the stereotype of spinster has been universally understood to be feminine in nature. ‘Bachelor’ typically implies that a man is young, virile, and available. It doesn’t have the same negative connotations as that of ‘spinster.’ A bachelor could have numerous partners, but it would be immoral for a spinster to do the same. Unlike the spinster, the fact that a man is not married does not necessarily imply a deficiency in his character. Many times, I’ve heard it said to single women: “If you were good enough and worthy, you would have gotten married by now.”
I see things from a completely different perspective. While it’s true that married women tend to have a better societal status, being more respected and acknowledged, I will not think less of myself just because I’m not someone’s wife.
True, it’s human nature to seek companionship… someone to share your life with. We often hear that “there’s someone for everyone”, but what if there isn’t? What if no matter how hard we try, or how long we look, we still don’t find our ‘Mr Right’? What if, one day, we pass the conventional age of marriage and everyone starts referring to us as spinsters?
A few years ago, I was brought face-to-face with the fact that, in the eye of my community, I have become a spinster. I was attending the wedding of a slightly younger cousin, and as I shook her hand in a warm, loving way, she gave me the “I-feel-sorry-for-you” look and said, “May God have mercy on you and send you a husband soon.”
I didn’t know whether or not to be offended, or if I should laugh it off, but then I thought, at least she had the guts to say it to my face. I was sure by then that everyone was thinking the same thing. What annoyed me most was the way that people looked at me: as an incomplete woman, neither acknowledged nor respected unless she was someone’s wife. To them, it doesn’t matter if you’re educated or not, working or not, well established or not. They don’t really care about all your life achievements, because in their opinion, getting married is the only one that counts. Anything short of this role is considered abnormal, unfulfilling, and suspect.
Some people rather see me compromise and accept any man who proposes, even if he was already married or has children from a previous marriage. Single women are expected to lower their standards to meet those of their pursuer, if there was any, and even then they are not supposed to expect what other young brides would since they should be thankful to be getting married in the first place!
A single woman in her 30s or over needs to be strong and have a high level of self confidence in order to overcome stereotypes and not buy into what others try to label her. Working women are at an advantage because we don’t have to depend on anyone for financial stability; we can afford to stay single until we meet the right person. On the other hand, women who depend on their fathers and/or brothers face a bigger problem, leading them to make the only choice they feel they have: get married, no matter what.
I think highly of myself, and I’m not about to let society make me feel different simply because I’m not someone’s – anyone’s – wife. Being a spinster is by no means a terrible fate; it is simply another lifestyle that will be socially accepted when we embrace it for what it is: a normal existence.
If and when I do get married, I insist on taking the step for the right reason, which is to be with the man I choose to live with, not because of societal pressure or out of fear. Being with someone I respect and love is far more important to me than ending up with just anyone simply because I had to run away from my fate.
When I imagine my future husband, I think of someone who could share the details of my life, laugh and cry with me, is there for me, understands, loves and appreciates who I am, someone who becomes my home and shelter, someone who talks to my mind and speaks to my heart, a man who respects the woman in me and sees me in my true colours. Until that person comes along, I will remain single. And if that person never comes, well, I’d rather live in Singletown than be miserable-ever-after in Marriageville.
What’s a spinster?
A spinster (or old maid) is a woman who has never been married, though it is usually applied only to women who are regarded as beyond the normal age for marriage, which varies between cultures. The word spinster came into common use in the West during the early 19th century when the thankless task of spinning cloth had been pushed off to unmarried women as a way to earn their keep in the home.
