This is one of the things that keep happening to us over the time and during all work experiences. It happens that when you start dealing with someone on daily basis, you become friends and maybe even best friends without you even noticing. You start going out together for movies or just to hang out, and then you start confiding in each other pouring your heart concerns and you talk about your personal issues with them, you ask them for advice and you give them some in return, you talk and you listen and all of a sudden you are friends who work together and not coworkers who became friends.

The question is however; is this wise?

When emotions get in the way of a professional relationship, the outcome can never be predicted and the reason is that emotions trigger reactions we can never expect and this might hurt both the business and personal relationships you share. If your conflict comes from business related matters, you might not forgive your friend for not favoring you and cutting you some slack and if the conflict is personal, you will start picking on each other at work which will affect both your works and might affect the atmosphere you share at the workplace altogether.

I am not saying that coworkers can never become friends but there is a missing ingredient in such a relationship and that ingredient is moderation and balance. If you know how to be moderate and balanced in the way you feel towards your friend and you know how to separate your professional life from your private life, you might actually get a shot at this. The other important ingredient is for your friend to understand this and be able to do the same, because this is a two way street and as they say; it takes two to make it or break it and you can never work a relationship on his own; a relationship no matter what type, needs a lot of work from all parties involved to maintain and grow it.

In my experience working in different companies and with a wide variety of people, friendship and business do not mix without consequences, and that is why they call it: conflict of interest. In our human nature, we are more likely to practice nepotism and without even noticing that we are doing so. We tend to make us excuses to our friends even if we know that they do not deserve that and sometimes, we might forgive them for mistakes that if done by someone else, they would never get the same feedback or treatment, and the problem is that the more special treatment you show, the more they will demand out of you which eventually leads to a disaster, because then the mistake gets magnified tens of times and the way back is too steep and difficult to walk.

I found out that being friends in the same workplace makes disappointments hurt much worse and reactions become emotional and uncalculated, so the chances are higher that you will end up losing this friend and maybe even consider quitting your job because you cannot handle dealing with this person on daily basis and not being able to talk to them like you used to do. I also found out that if you leave your job at one point, your relationship with your friends become stronger because you do not have to worry about the conflict of interest any more and your friend is just your friend which gives you more freedom to talk and most importantly, your work is not a talking material any more and it is not getting in the way of growing this friendship or nurturing it.

My advice to all of you out there; be careful of this dangerous mixture because the consequences are severe and if you have any doubt in your mind that you both cannot be objective enough to work through this relationship, chances are you are right and you should keep things in a clear perspective so that not to regret later. Life can surprise us and sometimes shock us with things that come from those who are closer to us the most and that’s when it hurts bad and might change your views about friends for good.

So, can coworkers be friends?

I say: probably but not likely!