What is it about a sleepless night that turns us into grumpy upset people? Is it that our bodies and brains did not get enough rest or is it that we are lazy creatures that cannot function unless we take off periods that make at least one third of our lives??

You can tell that I had a really lousy night and that I did not get enough sleep, add that to a hectic day full of meetings, covering for absent employees (my staff), complaints and requests flying all over the place and your friends ditching you at lunch time … if that is not a fatal combination for a grumpy lousy bad crappy mood and attitude; I seriously don’t know what is!!!

I had a meeting after work last night and it was a bit past 10 when I headed home. I wanted to pass by the supermarket to buy something and withdraw some cash, so I stopped by Safeway on my way home. Not only was it full and the people were lined up in tens waiting for their turn to reach the cash register, but the place was so full of kids
Wherever I looked, there were kids … they were shouting, playing race with the shopping carts and screaming at their parents that they want to buy this or that; I guess that they must have mistaken the superstore to be the park, playground or even wonderland … My God!!! What is wrong with these people?? It is a school night and kids are still shopping at 11 in the night? Is this normal? Am I being too picky here? When we were young kids, we used to be in bed by 8 or 9 max, so what are these kids still doing or more importantly, what are the parents thinking???

I just left the place without buying anything because getting anything would have meant standing in line for 15 – 20 minutes and I was dead tired by then with a bad mood that wouldn’t have been able to handle the noise so I decided to head home for everyone’s benefit including mine.

When I reached home, it was almost 11:15 and what is that? More kids in the street!!!
How are they going to be disciplined? How are they going to respect time and commitments if they cannot be trained to sleep early in school nights? Call me nuts, but I really believe that these are related and teaching these behaviors to children (positive or negative) will alter and affect the outcome of their futures.

No wonder we have so many inconsiderate people, no wonder we suffer from lack or morals wherever we go, it is not shocking then that we see rudeness as the norm, not surprising at all that we look at the polite with an exclamation point written all over our faces. It is the upbringing and the way one was raised that determines what type of a person he/she might become in the future, so if the mother was careless enough and the father was absent minded enough to leave their kids without so much to train them how to be committed serious people, then the coming generation would be a lot worse and more lost than the ones we currently have!!

Maybe this is my sleep deprived brain talking, or my deeper subconscious trying to break free, but I do believe that with each passing day, the crisis is growing bigger and a lot of people are becoming parents without being prepared for the role so they learn as they go, but I wonder where they are getting their knowledge because what we are witnessing is not a nice result by a far shot.

Having children might be the biggest responsibility one can claim by choice because you will be bringing human beings into this world, and since they did not choose to come in the first place or choose you yourself as their parent, you are obliged to do your utmost best to make sure you prepare them for life and give them a good future that allows them to move on and create more generations. Parenthood is not a journey in the park nor is it a fairy tale; it is a lot of hard work, commitment and dedication with a mix of tender loving care (TLC), parenting means that you will give up your life willingly for 20 something years until your kids are well on their way in life and even then you will still give them a big part of your life because that’s what it is all about … it is for this purpose that God demands respect and care for the parents but parents have to earn that by doing their job properly!!

I think that having children is very beautiful yet very scary, it is miraculous but risky, it is something that must not be taken lightly and I never seize to be amazed how a lot of people do just that!!!

Summer is one of the most hectic most crowded times of the year. People visiting from other countries to spend their vacations because they actually do have decent annual vacations there, foreigners flooding the country to change scenes under the name of tourism and family members arriving from all over the world to spend some time with their beloveds.

The scene in Amman’s streets becomes so stressful and congested that it gets to you even if you are not the “get angry easy” type of person, so I always do my best not to think about it and whenever I am stuck in a traffic jam, I increase the volume on the radio and sing along to distract myself or think about something else to pass the time.

This is all understandable with the huge number of cars using the streets these days, and it is also understandable when there is an accident and causes the traffic jam, but what I cannot comprehend or see as acceptable is that bridal convoys that close a street or three or four sides of the way as a way of expressing happiness and joy of the happy marriage. Forget about all the cars that are packed, jammed behind and trying to make way to get to their destinations, because the whole world has to participate in the bridal convoy whether they liked it or not.

What are these people thinking? What makes them think that this behavior is acceptable? They close all sides of the street and drive on 20 km/hr to allow the happy couple to savor the experience, but what about everyone else? Are they that selfish?

In old times, maybe it was nice to witness a bridal convoy every once in a while because there were specific days for weddings. People used to hold their weddings on Fridays, so the streets were not that packed and there were not as many people or as many cars for that matter. But these days, weddings take place any day of the week, any time of the day and they are just too many!!!

It is like a bridal festival out there, with all drivers dressed up, singing and honking and we as passers by, have to live with it.

Is it too much to ask these people to take only one side of the street when they are passing so that they do not disrupt the traffic? Why don’t the government enforce fines on these convoys when they are jamming the streets? I think the groom would think twice if he knew that he would be fined if his convoy closed a vital street in Amman and he would make sure that every one knew that and abided by the instructions, but aren’t we just so fond of breaking the law and just doing things our way to prove that we are not cowards!!!

I just hate these tasteless acts of expressing joy at the expense of others, just like fire works after midnight, but that is a totally different story!!

Summer season is officially back with all its parties and family gatherings. It is like people wait all year long till these few months to finish all their social obligations whether they were weddings, engagements or even family parties. It happens to be that all graduations happen in the summer, students finish their exams in summer and holiday season also falls in the summer.

It is true that summer is easier than winter for all activities but it is turning into a summer of craziness and frenzy. By the time the sun starts shining every day and the temperature starts rising up that the girls start wearing less and less. We have become used to the mini clothes and exposed flesh with every passing year.

Yesterday was full; we had an engagement party for my sister and I have to say that I was really shocked with the outfits that the girls are wearing, as if you will not be trendy unless you wear as less as possible or as revealing as you can get away with. I remember ten or fifteen years ago, we were more shy back then and we would not wear anything that exposes more than half of our arms, but I guess people change with time or maybe we start seeing things differently when we grow older.

Anyway; the party was really nice and longer than I expected, because in these types of parties, people come and go very quickly but this one lasted for 4 hours or so. Of course; my day started really early because I had the task of driving the bride to the salon and stay with her to make sure that everything is done by the book, then drive her home, but one of her friends came over and insisted to drive her home so she followed me and the party officially started when we arrived.

Some of my foreign friends came to the party and shared the joy with me; the lovely Kinzi, Momma beans and Teta Beans and two of Kinzi’s friends; Ruth and Emilie. This was a good opportunity for them to experience a Jordanian party with all its ins and outs and they had so much fun. My eldest aunt approached Ruth asking her if she would accept marriage to her son and she was so insisting and would not let it go until they promised her that they will look for someone and get back to her. I guess that my aunt was living the American dream all the way from Jordan and was trying to assure a better future for son and no one can blame her, yalla 3o2bal el 7abayeb.

At the end of it; this was a very long happy day and I am really grateful that it ended OK and would be even more grateful if people stop wishing me a husband like saying: don’t be sad, maybe God will finally send you a husband!!!
This happened a lot yesterday and was so annoying and really impolite, but I can’t change the world as much as I can change my attitude on how to react to it!!!

Don’t be surprised by the title … I was almost sure that I knew this myself until I was put face to face with an unfortunate situation that showed me that it does not really matter to the community how I rate myself when it comes to success and failure because each member of this large society has his/her own definition that depends only on their own views and beliefs.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of failure is: nonperformance of something due, required, or expected. In Wikipedia, it is: failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective.
In Wiktionary, it is:
1. State or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, opposite of success.
2. An object, person or endeavor in a state of failure or incapable of success.
3. Termination of the ability of an item to perform its required function.

I find the above definitions clear and straight forward, however; when I started interpreting them according to what people classify as a failure, it was a totally different scene and one that might not only be vague but also blurry and confusing. I mean why even bother understanding what the word or the status means when almost everyone will judge you from where they are standing. It is not like being overweight because there are standards for that, it is not like being black or white, blonde or brunette or redhead, it is not like being old or young … all these things are easily detected and do not need our personal input to decide one way or another despite that our perspective might change how we deal with these things, but still; we cannot miss them. But when it comes to failure or success for that matter; how can one judge or decide if someone has succeeded or failed?

I see success and failure as two faces of the same coin, but what I fail to see is how to define the boundaries of this coin. What are the standards for success? What are the things that one has to achieve in order to be classified as successful? Is it position or money or fame or what exactly?

Everyone thought that Marilyn Monroe was so successful and that her life was glamorous, but it turned out that she was miserable and her life ended mysteriously with a global inclination to believe that she committed suicide. Elvis Presley was a role model to almost every man in his generation and everyone dreamed of a life like his, but in reality he was miserable enough to become a drug addict and that eventually killed him. Princess Diana gave up everything to be happy. We can always look at celebrities as successful people who lead lives out of fairy tales, but the truth is that we do not know how happy with their lives they are, how content and satisfied they are and how successful they see themselves.

In our part of the world, people tend to be more emotional and judge others from that perspective. I have been thinking about this for some time now and found that no matter how hard a woman works and how high she aims and reaches, she will still be considered a failure because she did not achieve the ultimate goal in due time, which is getting married and having kids.

Now I would really consider this theory and might even believe it if the woman had full control over this particular issue, but she cannot decide who to marry and make it happen like men do, she has to wait for him to propose and hope for the best, so how does this count as a failure?

The other day; I was accused of being a failure by one of the closest people to me. Maybe she took my life and compared it to hers and when she found that I did not take her path and still did not marry and had a few kids that I was a failure. It did not matter that I had a better career and a more comfortable lifestyle, I was still a failure to her because I am not Mrs. Someone like she is.

To tell the truth; what she said was hurtful and sad and I did not expect it to get to me like it did, but what hurt the most is that I realized that if the ones who know me think this way; I should not be expecting much from those who don’t, and I decided that as long as I will classify myself as a failure or a success according to my own interpretation of the words or status and to hell with everyone who does not approve because at the end of the day, those who matter would not mind while those who mind, do not actually matter.