I am not quite sure that this statement is true … or it might be true for certain behaviors but not the person … so do people really change??
Today was my birthday and I realized that people do not change as much as we would like to believe; they will still do that same things they always did and to a large extent, they become predictable to those around them, but again; isn’t that what we call characteristics of a personality??
I have come to find that jealous people will always envy you for what you have even if it was a piece of crap … selfish people will never learn how to give to others … angry people will never calm down and they will always find a way to make your life miserable because that is what they do … We will always lose friends to marriage … we will always have fights with our families … we will always feel stupid after we say something we don’t want to say … and it feels really silly that I am not able to talk about what is really bothering me …Do people change?
It is not a surprise nor is it a shock to expect violations from valet parking personnel such as taking something from your car (which the valet company is NOT responsible for) or they can take a ride in your car (unless you know the reading on your gas meter and your mileage meter … seriously, how would you know??)
We have seen this happen in movies all too many times, but it is happening right at home dear folks … yes; you heard that right: valet parking is the newest way for car theft in Amman!!
It happened to my sister’s friend … she was going to this store in Sweifieh where they have valet parking service and as usual; she handed her car to this gentlemen dressed in a uniform and he even gave her a number for her car. Not suspecting anything; she went in the store and continued her trip as she planned it; what she did not plan or anticipate was that she would not find her very expensive car when she went out because the guy simply took it and run!!!
Seriously now; do you remember the face of the guy who takes your car to park it for you? Would you be able to describe him to the police if needed? Do you even look at the guy’s face to begin with?
Come to think of it; we have become victims to our own convictions that this is a safe service just because it is provided by reputable institutions and we never question the possibility that something bad might happen … we do not double check if the person taking our car is actually a part of the crew hired for that specific job … I mean when we go to crowded places like Mecca Mall for example; more often than not, you are required to wait till one of the valet personnel is available to take your car because they are busy running around to park or bring other cars, so hypothetically speaking; anyone can come to you and pretend he is one of the crew and take your car and run away!!!
The VIP service is turning out to be not so VIP after all and that we should not feel so privileged as we willingly hand over our cars to some stranger to park it right next to where we can park it ourselves!!!
On another note; if and when a car is stolen by impersonating a valet personnel, what is the liability of the valet company or the institution providing the service?? Should they be legally liable? Do they even check the backgrounds of the personnel doing this job before hiring them? What precautions can we take into consideration as we go for this service?
I say we park our cars on our own even if takes more time and more distance to do so because I bet it does not feel good to lose your car in such a humiliating manner.
I quote Greg Gagliardi in his article: Valet Parking: Theft with Consent
“That’s right — valet parking is the one time when we are basically telling a stranger, “Go ahead, steal my car. I trust that it’ll be here later.” And sure, virtually 100% of the time it is. But what about that 0% of the time when your car just isn’t there and that valet parker turns out to be a person who knows how to find the appropriate attire online? Furthermore, what is the guarantee that your stuff inside the car will still be there? This is a time period when the valet can do anything he wants with your car — change the radio station, eat your food, kill your friend still sitting in the passenger seat — so we need to think more carefully about why we continue to utilize this system…” [Source…]
Or is it that Gaza is now drowning in darkness, cold, hunger and despair???
Sometimes there aren’t enough words to describe what we are witnessing and what the news keep shoving down our throats every morning till we reached a point that nothing surprises us anymore, but what is happening in Gaza comes as a shock that leaves the majority of us speechless and helpless …
In a time and life that human rights are becoming a major factor in how societies are governed … in a world that the international community is judging the backward Middle East because of honor crimes, poverty, violence against women and primitive culture … the same community is standing still to watch as Gaza is being crucified and executed … it is cold and they don’t have heat … they are cut out from the rest of the world … and as well as they are dying by bullets and military attacks; they are also being killed by hunger and cold …
I choose to raise my voice to say STOP … ENOUGH … Life is not a game and just because they reside in Gaza … it does not make their lives of any less value than any other human in any part of the world …
You know that feeling when the end of the year approaches so fast that we cannot keep track of what we are doing Vs what needs to be done before the clock ticks ending the deadline? It seems that most of what we are doing these days is tied to a deadline or an expiry date and we find ourselves saying over and again: I need to do this and that before something happens; the keyword here being: BEFORE!!
Maybe that’s why we stopped enjoying life as we are supposed to, we no longer stop to smell the roses because we have to reach the destination or goal before time ticks ending our chance or before someone else reaches it and takes our catch … we have become so competitive that we do not care about how we do things as long as we win in the end … we no longer feel good because we finished a project or reached a goal … we feel good because we did that before someone else did or before the deadline …
We do not enjoy the ride, we do not pay attention to the good things around us because we are so focused on ending before it is too late as if we are being chased or pushed to do these things … we tend to forget that when we work, we do that for ourselves and no one else, we are the ones who benefit and learn … but shouldn’t we enjoy that as well??
Time flies and never stops for anything or anyone … it is the only thing that keeps moving despite all changes and factors … it affects things and people but does not get affected … it is the material of our lives yet we are willingly sacrificing it to do things that don’t really matter … we try to convince ourselves that we are doing what we have to do but how sincere and honest are we in confronting ourselves when it comes to how we invest in our time??
I know I have been truly busy lately and things were too cluttered in my mind and around me, but the reason that I cannot complain about it is that I am truly enjoying my crazy times … I am working with people that I admire and learn from and such professional atmosphere is a dream come true for someone like me … I have been working, traveling and spending more time with family and friends … I lost some friends and gained new ones … as we grow older, our choosing criteria become different and more specific … we become more clear on what works for us and what doesn’t and what crowd to hang out with and what crowd to stay away from … we become less tolerant when it comes to our beliefs because we already established a strong base on which we build further … it is not time to put foundations because this is done already and now it is time to build and grow …
2007 is ending … as I review it; I realize that I have achieved big milestones and a lot more smaller ones … so many events took place … I met a lot of new people and befriended them … some of them became best friends … some friends magically dropped out and are no longer a part of my life; by choice or not, it does not matter really as the result is the same … some friends were estranged and I do not see them as much as I would love to but the beauty of the friendship is that no matter how we stay away; when we do meet; it is like we were never apart!!
Crazy times are ruling our lives but the way to deal with it in my opinion, is to enjoy the ride while it lasts
Ramadan is a visitor that shows up once a year; we see a lot of actions and reactions before, during and after this month yet we receive it with the excitement and greetings year in and year out because it symbolizes a lot of things to us. It is the month when we feel closer to God, it is the month that we see people’s behaviors when they are fasting and angry about it, we see them going into consumption and buying frenzy, we see them driving like maniacs and having street fights, we see all sorts of negative attitudes and people refer it to the fact that they cannot drink, eat or smoke.
On the other hand; we see people visiting each other more, we see them praying more, we see them helping each other more, we see them supporting those who are needier or poorer and they feel happy about it because they get this satisfying feeling of doing what is right even for once a year.
In old days, Ramadan was a sacred time for the whole family … I remember when we used to invite people over for Iftar and Gatayef … I remember how my mother used to take advantage of the long fasting hours to prepare meals that take time like wara2 3enab, kobbeh, sheshbarak, and many others … I remember how my grandmother (Allah bless her soul) used to bake bread for us right before Iftar and we used to consume it as if there was no other food … I remember my grandfather (Allah bless his soul) when he used to come to our house in Ramadan and Eid with his pockets filled with candy for us … AAHHH!! Those were the days!!
I also remember that people used to be more respectful for others’ feelings in Ramadan … if for any reason someone was not able to fast or even chose not to fast, they were discreet about it because they were tactful and courteous towards others. Unfortunately; what we see these days is that not only people choose not to fast but they also make sure everyone around them knows that they are choosing not to fast and practically rubbing food, drink and cigarettes in fasters’ faces; now that’s what I call rude, disrespectful and totally vulgar.
We see our Christian colleagues and friends supportive of us practicing our beliefs and there is no limit to our appreciation of what they do (or don’t do) but it is our Muslim brothers and sisters who are showing this much of disrespect to us and to our belief. It saddens me when I see such behaviors from educated adults who are well aware of what they are doing. I know that some of you will say: if you don’t like or approve, just look the other way and I can always do that but when people challenge and dare others, laugh in their faces as if they are not doing anything wrong … now that truly pisses me off … imagine when you have to wake up in the morning and go to work only to find someone who is drinking coffee with the smell climbing up to your brain through your nose and you cannot taste it … imagine if you were a smoker and craved a cigarette while someone is blowing the smoke in your face … or if in the middle of the day when you are hungry and cannot focus on your work, someone walks in with a sandwich and eats it while you are smelling and looking … that’s truly a sad thing to witness and believe me I did see it and was speechless as people who are that rude, can come up with any sort of answer if you even point out that if what they are doing is wrong or shameful …
I am really sorry and disappointed when I see such things and I reach a stage where I feel disgusted that we reached such a phase in our lives that people have and show no consideration or respect to others’ feelings and it makes me really scared of what is yet to come and what role model are we setting for the coming generations …
كلنا بنعرف انه هاي السياسة من أكثر السياسات المستخدمة في حياتنا العملية والخاصة على حد سواء … كم مرة بنسمعها والناس بتحكيها إما بصيغة التخطيط لاستراتيجية معينة أو بصيغة الشكوى من مقلب شربوه؟ سياسة اتغدى فيه قبل ما يتعشى فيك صارت عملة مستخدمة ومتداولة … حتى بين الأطفال بنشوفها؛ واحد بياخد لعبة التاني وبعدين عشان ما حد يحكي معاه، بيصير يبكي … قديش بيتكرر هالمنظر في كل بيت … فهل من الممكن إنه الإنسان مفطور على هيك خلق؟؟؟
في ناس بتعتبرها شطارة لما تستبيح حق الغير وبعدين تروح تبكي وتعيّط وتصرخ إنها مظلومة وانها مسكينة … منظر بنشوفه في المسلسلات العربية بين الضراير أو السلايف أو الحماة والكنة … يعني لو ما كانت هاي سياسة ناجحة، ما كانت عاشت وتناقلتها الأجيال لحد اليوم … صح؟
وفي ناس بتخاف من نتائج أفعالها فبتسبّق بالهجوم عشان تفلت من العقاب … يعني ما بيتحمّلوا مسؤولية أفعالهم بدرجة تكفي لأنهم يواجهوا الآخرين فيها ولذلك بيلجأوا للتغطية عليها عن طريق إظهار أخطاء الآخرين من خلال لفت انتباه الناس الها بطريقة تصرف النظر عن خطأهم هم وبالتالي بيتهمّش وممكن إنه ينتسى بالمرة …
وفي ناس مستحيل إنهم يعترفوا إنهم أخطأوا من الأساس ومهما كان حجم الخطأ، ما بيشوفوا إلا أخطاء العالم اللي قدامهم وبيبرّئوا أنفسهم … وبيصرّوا على الخطأ وبيزعلوا وبيتصرفوا كأنهم هم أصحاب الحق وانه الناس لازم تقدملهم فروض الولاء والطاعة …
وفي ناس بتفهم الأمور غلط وبتخلط الشامي بالعامي وبيبنوا فرضيات كلها غلط في غلط وبيبنوا نتائج وخيمة على هاي الفرضيات وبيزعلوا وبيحردوا وهم كان كتير بيوفروا على حالهم لو بس سألوا اللي قبالهم ليش تصرفوا أو قالوا أو عادوا … لكن احنا شعب دايماً بنهرب من المواجهة وبنفضل انه نعيش دور الضحية بس أبدا ما بناخد خطوة لتصليح الأمور خوفاً من إنه يطلع علينا حق أو غلط …
هلأ أصعب شي لما تحصل هيك أمور بين الأصحاب، معناه في شي كتير غلط ويمكن العلاقة نفسها مش متينة … خصوصاً لما تكون هاي العلاقات متشابكة ومتشعبة لدرجة بتخلي كل المحيطين يصيروا طرف في الموضوع … واللي بيزيد الطين بلة إنه احنا ما بنعرف نحط حدود واضحة لعلاقاتنا، يعني إذا احنا اصدقاء وبنشتغل مع بعض، بيصير من الصعب الفصل بين تعاملنا مع بعض كزملاء عمل وتعاملنا مع بعض كأصدقاء … يعني انت بتتصرف مع زميلك من منطلق مصلحة العمل واللوائح والقوانين لكن هو بيروح بياخدها شخصي وبيحرد وبيزعل وبيبطّل بده صحبتك من الأساس … ولما صاحبك يغلط بحقك قدام الناس وبعدين هو اللي يزعل ويبطل يحكي معاك على أساس انه منتظر منك انك انت تعتذر … اكيد في شي غلط …
اللي بفهمه إنه أحلى شي بالصداقة، انك تلتمس لصديقك عذر لما ما بتعرف عذره وجزء من هالموضوع عشان انت تريح حالك من الظنون والشكوك والافتراضات اللي لا بتودّي ولا بتجيب … واكثر ناس لازم يكونوا في صفك هم اصدقاءك … حتى قبل أهلك لأنك انت اللي بتختار انهم يكونوا قريبين منك … الصراحة كتير شي بيزعج لما اصحابك بيعاملوك متل الأغراب … شعور مو حلو ابداً لما حتى ما بيعطوك فرصة انك تحكي وتوضح أي سوء تفاهم …
برجع لـ “ضربني وبكى … وسبقني واشتكى” … لما تفكروا بمعنى العبارة مزبوط، عمركوا شفتوا ظلم أكثر من هيك؟؟؟؟
As much as I was sad for the ordeal this family had to go through, but I was also very upset because we have to do something … It does not have to be my father or brother or mother for me to speak out and do something … Hussein’s dad is our dad as well and we have to stand by them in this … so please help us by spreading the word!!
Yesterday, I went out with a friend of mine to one of the prominent coffee shops in Mecca Mall. You see, we like going there because it has large windows and we can sit inside while breathing fresh air and they make great coffee, so there we were on one of our favorite tables and peacefully munching our dinner when a guy and two girls came in and sat right in front of us.
Now, there isn’t anything strange about this scene as many people go out in groups and eat or drink; this is really not the issue. What was really obvious is that the guy formed a couple with one of the girls and the other girl was there like a third wheel, but that also is normal … I mean you can go out with your girlfriend and her friend might/can tag along, so we are still OK …
Some time went by and then we noticed that the girl was all touchy feely with the guy; she would put her hand over his, or just makes sure that she touches all the skin on his arm when she extends her hand to get a tissue or whatever … it was too obvious that we could not NOT notice, but we brushed it off …
After a while, the guy started touching back, by pinching a cheek here or holding a hand there … then she would sneak her hand under his arm in an attempt to hold his other hand or just touch it lightly … but we said to ourselves, well; maybe we are just too old fashioned or maybe this is the new trend in dating in Amman … who knows?
Then we noticed that there was a whole other scene under the table … they were seriously all over each other … she would but her feet over his, or he would touch her leg, or she would cross her legs only to touch him on the knee with her foot … and I was “this” close to shouting: get a room, will ya?!!!
Not only is this action tasteless and shameless, but it is also strange to happen in a public place in a mall … I am not that naive and I know that there are places where such things happen but certainly not in a coffee shop in a mall with very clear sharp lights and while you are seated very close to the next table … I mean come on! When did we lose all manners and morals … will someone tell me: is this normal???
What is happening to this generation? Even if they were engaged or married, does this justify such behavior? Is flirtation a part of dating these days? Have we become like western countries where the date should end with a kiss at the door? If this girl was seen by her father, brother or even her cousin while she was all over that guy, would she continue what she was doing without even blinking or would she worry that there would be severe consequences? If that guy saw his sister or even cousin in the position of the girl who was with him, I wonder how he would react!!
In a community that is drowning in double standards and culture of shame, it comes as a shock that we see such behaviors in public places which makes me wonder, did people stop caring suddenly? Or did the standards change? Or are we getting into a new era that has no limits or boundaries???? :S
