It is enough to say … watch … relate … enjoy!!

I am not quite sure that this statement is true … or it might be true for certain behaviors but not the person … so do people really change??

Today was my birthday and I realized that people do not change as much as we would like to believe; they will still do that same things they always did and to a large extent, they become predictable to those around them, but again; isn’t that what we call characteristics of a personality??

I have come to find that jealous people will always envy you for what you have even if it was a piece of crap … selfish people will never learn how to give to others … angry people will never calm down and they will always find a way to make your life miserable because that is what they do … We will always lose friends to marriage … we will always have fights with our families … we will always feel stupid after we say something we don’t want to say … and it feels really silly that I am not able to talk about what is really bothering me …Do people change?

I vote … NO

A lot of talk has been going on about government placing cameras to stop indecent acts by youths who practically are doing it in the car!! Some are saying that this is a form of religious police who will bind people’s freedoms and that our liberal Jordan will not be so liberal any more.

Let us look at this scenario a bit closely, those are against the government decision think of these indecent acts as acts of love and affection and that we as “the others” should turn the other way, mind our business, let these kids be with what they are doing and if we don’t like it to happen in front of us then we should give them more freedom to check in rooms and be out of sight.

The question is: why should I give such compromises when these kids are actually forcing their acts on me in a space that belongs to everyone? Why should I accept that what belongs behind closed doors becomes so public and normal practice? Why should I accept to expose my kids to this and how can I explain it to them? Why am I supposed to look the other way when these people are in plain sight and there for everyone to watch and see? Why should I respect their wishes when they are not even acknowledging mine?

We are not encouraging censoring people’s acts because it is none of our business to middle in theirs but when they trespass and force their actions on us right there in the public highway, well; that is totally a different story. This is an area that belongs to everyone and what we do there should be acceptable by everyone because that’s just the logical way of thinking. If I am about to do something that will grab attention or be found out of the norm, then I am in the wrong place and I should take it elsewhere.

Those who are against the move are defending the rights of these young couples to practice “love” freely, but what about everyone else’s right in not being exposed to something that is against their beliefs and standards. Why should everyone tolerate what a minority think is hip, modern and civilized? Would they accept it if those others started practicing their beliefs in public?

A while ago; a lot of people started using the side way on airport road as picnic areas and almost everyone thought this was out of place and that government should do something about it and we were all thankful when it did. Why should this scenario be different?

There was an old saying that goes like this: your freedom stops when everyone else’s starts. So it is my right to go out in the street and be anywhere and know that I will not be exposed to a scene that belongs in a bedroom especially that those streets have children and people who come from different cultures and backgrounds. Such acts will only encourage acts of hate and extremism and this is in no way for the best interest and benefit of the community at large.

This kind of thinking makes me wonder: why do we have bedrooms in our homes? If it is acceptable for us to see “love acts” in public, why are we decent at home? Why don’t people do it just in front of anyone if this is what freedom entails? Why do we need closed doors? Why do we teach our kids to be decent? Why do we teach them privacy?

As far as I know, such “love acts” in public are not acceptable in western countries as well and people look at them as indecent. Some countries go as far as placing those cameras and other countries have police officers roaming the areas at night to make sure that such violations are not taking place, so why are we calling for opening the door for something the whole world is trying to shove back behind closed doors????

It has been a bit over 10 years since I graduated university. Although I still remember it as if it was yesterday, I have to acknowledge the years’ effect on me … what 10 years can do to a person is tremendous if you come to think of it.

I was going through Layalina Magazine the other day and I came across a page where they featured the American School Reunion for the class of 1991. If I had been in that school, I would have attended that reunion, but some of my college colleagues were there and I could recognize a lot of the photos.

When you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you will not notice the age lines that form on your face with the passing years and you will not see the big difference until someone points it out to you. When I looked at these familiar faces in the magazine, I was shocked as they looked really older, they were not necessarily old and senile, but they looked so mature, tired and older. So I started saying to myself: WOW! If they have changed that much, I must have changed as well and if they were to see me now, they would be as surprised as I am!!!

I remember these guys when we were attending lectures and labs together, how they used to chase each other in the faculty corridors and halls, how we went together on picnics and played ball and sang together. I remember how we studied together and revised our answers after each exam and how we teased each other when we got the results and some had really high grades … it all seems like yesterday when I remember these things and now when I look at their images … I see my own reflection only 10 years later

It is really funny what a year can do to us, how about 10!!

It seems to me that time is flying and sometimes I even feel that I lost some stages in my life in my memory, as if I cannot locate a face or an event. During these 10 years, I met thousands of people, I traveled many places, worked in many companies and in many fields, fell in and out of love, formed many friendships, matured in my emotions and feelings … all that and as much as I feel that I have changed inside, when I go back 10 years, I am that young girl who did not know what the future was hiding for her …

Strange feelings of nice memories and even stranger feelings of realizing that I am no longer that young girl … I realized that I am a different person altogether and if I were to attend such a reunion, I probably would not get along with my old colleagues and friends especially that each went his/her own way after graduation. We met randomly along the years, but it was awkward and brief.

10 years would change us both physically and mentally … I wonder what things would be like 10 years from now … would I look at my current friends and get that distant feeling of nice times we had together? Or would I still have them on my side where we can look back together and capture those distant moments and smile about it? I guess only another 10 years would tell!!!

Yesterday, I went out with a friend of mine to one of the prominent coffee shops in Mecca Mall. You see, we like going there because it has large windows and we can sit inside while breathing fresh air and they make great coffee, so there we were on one of our favorite tables and peacefully munching our dinner when a guy and two girls came in and sat right in front of us.

Now, there isn’t anything strange about this scene as many people go out in groups and eat or drink; this is really not the issue. What was really obvious is that the guy formed a couple with one of the girls and the other girl was there like a third wheel, but that also is normal … I mean you can go out with your girlfriend and her friend might/can tag along, so we are still OK …

Some time went by and then we noticed that the girl was all touchy feely with the guy; she would put her hand over his, or just makes sure that she touches all the skin on his arm when she extends her hand to get a tissue or whatever … it was too obvious that we could not NOT notice, but we brushed it off …

After a while, the guy started touching back, by pinching a cheek here or holding a hand there … then she would sneak her hand under his arm in an attempt to hold his other hand or just touch it lightly … but we said to ourselves, well; maybe we are just too old fashioned or maybe this is the new trend in dating in Amman … who knows?

Then we noticed that there was a whole other scene under the table … they were seriously all over each other … she would but her feet over his, or he would touch her leg, or she would cross her legs only to touch him on the knee with her foot … and I was “this” close to shouting: get a room, will ya?!!!

Not only is this action tasteless and shameless, but it is also strange to happen in a public place in a mall … I am not that naive and I know that there are places where such things happen but certainly not in a coffee shop in a mall with very clear sharp lights and while you are seated very close to the next table … I mean come on! When did we lose all manners and morals … will someone tell me: is this normal???

What is happening to this generation? Even if they were engaged or married, does this justify such behavior? Is flirtation a part of dating these days? Have we become like western countries where the date should end with a kiss at the door? If this girl was seen by her father, brother or even her cousin while she was all over that guy, would she continue what she was doing without even blinking or would she worry that there would be severe consequences? If that guy saw his sister or even cousin in the position of the girl who was with him, I wonder how he would react!!

In a community that is drowning in double standards and culture of shame, it comes as a shock that we see such behaviors in public places which makes me wonder, did people stop caring suddenly? Or did the standards change? Or are we getting into a new era that has no limits or boundaries????