It is not a surprise nor is it a shock to expect violations from valet parking personnel such as taking something from your car (which the valet company is NOT responsible for) or they can take a ride in your car (unless you know the reading on your gas meter and your mileage meter … seriously, how would you know??)

We have seen this happen in movies all too many times, but it is happening right at home dear folks … yes; you heard that right: valet parking is the newest way for car theft in Amman!!

It happened to my sister’s friend … she was going to this store in Sweifieh where they have valet parking service and as usual; she handed her car to this gentlemen dressed in a uniform and he even gave her a number for her car. Not suspecting anything; she went in the store and continued her trip as she planned it; what she did not plan or anticipate was that she would not find her very expensive car when she went out because the guy simply took it and run!!!

Seriously now; do you remember the face of the guy who takes your car to park it for you? Would you be able to describe him to the police if needed? Do you even look at the guy’s face to begin with?

Come to think of it; we have become victims to our own convictions that this is a safe service just because it is provided by reputable institutions and we never question the possibility that something bad might happen … we do not double check if the person taking our car is actually a part of the crew hired for that specific job … I mean when we go to crowded places like Mecca Mall for example; more often than not, you are required to wait till one of the valet personnel is available to take your car because they are busy running around to park or bring other cars, so hypothetically speaking; anyone can come to you and pretend he is one of the crew and take your car and run away!!!

The VIP service is turning out to be not so VIP after all and that we should not feel so privileged as we willingly hand over our cars to some stranger to park it right next to where we can park it ourselves!!!

On another note; if and when a car is stolen by impersonating a valet personnel, what is the liability of the valet company or the institution providing the service?? Should they be legally liable? Do they even check the backgrounds of the personnel doing this job before hiring them? What precautions can we take into consideration as we go for this service?

I say we park our cars on our own even if takes more time and more distance to do so because I bet it does not feel good to lose your car in such a humiliating manner.

I quote Greg Gagliardi in his article: Valet Parking: Theft with Consent

“That’s right — valet parking is the one time when we are basically telling a stranger, “Go ahead, steal my car. I trust that it’ll be here later.” And sure, virtually 100% of the time it is. But what about that 0% of the time when your car just isn’t there and that valet parker turns out to be a person who knows how to find the appropriate attire online? Furthermore, what is the guarantee that your stuff inside the car will still be there? This is a time period when the valet can do anything he wants with your car — change the radio station, eat your food, kill your friend still sitting in the passenger seat — so we need to think more carefully about why we continue to utilize this system…” [Source…]

So, valet parking anyone???

Every time I travel, I find myself thinking of the many hazards that one faces when roaming the globe, starting from flying all the way to food poisoning, getting ripped off, accidents … etc.
One thing keeps popping in my mind though, and that is the hazards that we face by staying at hotels and eating out through the trips. It is true that we will be staying in 5 stars hotels most of the time, however; are all the workers in these hotels 5 star material or not??

The minute I walk in a hotel room, I check the cleanliness of the bed sheets, the bathroom and the glasses. Call me paranoid, but who knows how this room was cleaned after all?

Cleaning staff in hotels, workers and chefs in restaurants, they all have been portrayed and stereotyped in movies and stories as careless most of the time and that many of them (not all) are mad at something and they get it out on the customer when he/she cannot see them. So, if a customer asks to change the order after it was brought and verbally complains about anything, we find the waiter or the chef behind scenes doing something bad to the order before bringing it out, like spitting in the drink and stirring it so that nothing suspicious shows; just how many times did we see that in the movies? Could it be that this is only a fictional scene from the author’s mind or could it be a reflection of the truth??!!!

And what about workers in the kitchen not wearing gloves while preparing our food? How do we know where these hands were before starting our meals? I remember that in one of those restaurants where you can actually see the cooking taking place in front of you, we noticed that the guy was preparing our salad with his glove-less hands and we immediately asked that he wears glove and start a new salad dish; could we have been paranoid or was that the right thing to do???!!!

The studies and observations show that one cannot be too careful when staying and eating out because it is a human thing and a lot of people in this world are not accountable nor they are trustworthy of doing their job properly, which ends up in spreading disease and causing health problems to others. Some people are careless enough to pull jokes and pranks about this like when someone says he is allergic to peanuts and another pours some peanut butter in his food to see if he is telling the truth or not … imagine if he really does have allergy and he eats the contaminated food, he could die because of a sick joke … I think I have seen this on one of CSI’s episodes but it was fish allergy!!

What about housekeeping in hotels; I mean these workers come into your room when you are out of it and they clean it without being supervised, do they use gloves when cleaning the toilet? Do they change the gloves when cleaning glasses? Do they not wear gloves at all? Do they run through your stuff and snoop around in your luggage? Do they use your clothes, makeup, or perfume? How can we know that the “Maid in Manhattan” scene is not happening every day or every hour for that matter? Just because it was Jennifer Lopez actually stealing and trying the clothes, it does not make it OK … that was wrong and immoral regardless of how much I like JL!!!

As for me, I really keep my stuff in my bag and I keep it locked, so I try to take clothes that do not need ironing so that I can wear them comfortably … maybe I am being paranoid here but I cannot accept the idea of stranger hands running and searching through my clothes and stuff … I keep remembering that housekeeper in “The Last Holiday” when Queen Latifa asked her if she went through her stuff and she replied: I go through everybody’s stuff!!!

Just to give you another perspective about this issue, please watch the following movie and keep it in your mind when you are traveling …

Scary, ha??
I wish you safe and happy traveling folks!!!

You know that feeling when the end of the year approaches so fast that we cannot keep track of what we are doing Vs what needs to be done before the clock ticks ending the deadline? It seems that most of what we are doing these days is tied to a deadline or an expiry date and we find ourselves saying over and again: I need to do this and that before something happens; the keyword here being: BEFORE!!

Maybe that’s why we stopped enjoying life as we are supposed to, we no longer stop to smell the roses because we have to reach the destination or goal before time ticks ending our chance or before someone else reaches it and takes our catch … we have become so competitive that we do not care about how we do things as long as we win in the end … we no longer feel good because we finished a project or reached a goal … we feel good because we did that before someone else did or before the deadline …

We do not enjoy the ride, we do not pay attention to the good things around us because we are so focused on ending before it is too late as if we are being chased or pushed to do these things … we tend to forget that when we work, we do that for ourselves and no one else, we are the ones who benefit and learn … but shouldn’t we enjoy that as well??

Time flies and never stops for anything or anyone … it is the only thing that keeps moving despite all changes and factors … it affects things and people but does not get affected … it is the material of our lives yet we are willingly sacrificing it to do things that don’t really matter … we try to convince ourselves that we are doing what we have to do but how sincere and honest are we in confronting ourselves when it comes to how we invest in our time??

I know I have been truly busy lately and things were too cluttered in my mind and around me, but the reason that I cannot complain about it is that I am truly enjoying my crazy times … I am working with people that I admire and learn from and such professional atmosphere is a dream come true for someone like me … I have been working, traveling and spending more time with family and friends … I lost some friends and gained new ones … as we grow older, our choosing criteria become different and more specific … we become more clear on what works for us and what doesn’t and what crowd to hang out with and what crowd to stay away from … we become less tolerant when it comes to our beliefs because we already established a strong base on which we build further … it is not time to put foundations because this is done already and now it is time to build and grow …

2007 is ending … as I review it; I realize that I have achieved big milestones and a lot more smaller ones … so many events took place … I met a lot of new people and befriended them … some of them became best friends … some friends magically dropped out and are no longer a part of my life; by choice or not, it does not matter really as the result is the same … some friends were estranged and I do not see them as much as I would love to but the beauty of the friendship is that no matter how we stay away; when we do meet; it is like we were never apart!!

Crazy times are ruling our lives but the way to deal with it in my opinion, is to enjoy the ride while it lasts

Happy Eid to everyone …

Listen to the this short clip and watch carefully …

Now please take the poll and send your feedback …

Ramadan is a visitor that shows up once a year; we see a lot of actions and reactions before, during and after this month yet we receive it with the excitement and greetings year in and year out because it symbolizes a lot of things to us. It is the month when we feel closer to God, it is the month that we see people’s behaviors when they are fasting and angry about it, we see them going into consumption and buying frenzy, we see them driving like maniacs and having street fights, we see all sorts of negative attitudes and people refer it to the fact that they cannot drink, eat or smoke.

On the other hand; we see people visiting each other more, we see them praying more, we see them helping each other more, we see them supporting those who are needier or poorer and they feel happy about it because they get this satisfying feeling of doing what is right even for once a year.

In old days, Ramadan was a sacred time for the whole family … I remember when we used to invite people over for Iftar and Gatayef … I remember how my mother used to take advantage of the long fasting hours to prepare meals that take time like wara2 3enab, kobbeh, sheshbarak, and many others … I remember how my grandmother (Allah bless her soul) used to bake bread for us right before Iftar and we used to consume it as if there was no other food … I remember my grandfather (Allah bless his soul) when he used to come to our house in Ramadan and Eid with his pockets filled with candy for us … AAHHH!! Those were the days!!

I also remember that people used to be more respectful for others’ feelings in Ramadan … if for any reason someone was not able to fast or even chose not to fast, they were discreet about it because they were tactful and courteous towards others. Unfortunately; what we see these days is that not only people choose not to fast but they also make sure everyone around them knows that they are choosing not to fast and practically rubbing food, drink and cigarettes in fasters’ faces; now that’s what I call rude, disrespectful and totally vulgar.

We see our Christian colleagues and friends supportive of us practicing our beliefs and there is no limit to our appreciation of what they do (or don’t do) but it is our Muslim brothers and sisters who are showing this much of disrespect to us and to our belief. It saddens me when I see such behaviors from educated adults who are well aware of what they are doing. I know that some of you will say: if you don’t like or approve, just look the other way and I can always do that but when people challenge and dare others, laugh in their faces as if they are not doing anything wrong … now that truly pisses me off … imagine when you have to wake up in the morning and go to work only to find someone who is drinking coffee with the smell climbing up to your brain through your nose and you cannot taste it … imagine if you were a smoker and craved a cigarette while someone is blowing the smoke in your face … or if in the middle of the day when you are hungry and cannot focus on your work, someone walks in with a sandwich and eats it while you are smelling and looking … that’s truly a sad thing to witness and believe me I did see it and was speechless as people who are that rude, can come up with any sort of answer if you even point out that if what they are doing is wrong or shameful …

I am really sorry and disappointed when I see such things and I reach a stage where I feel disgusted that we reached such a phase in our lives that people have and show no consideration or respect to others’ feelings and it makes me really scared of what is yet to come and what role model are we setting for the coming generations …

It has been a bit over 10 years since I graduated university. Although I still remember it as if it was yesterday, I have to acknowledge the years’ effect on me … what 10 years can do to a person is tremendous if you come to think of it.

I was going through Layalina Magazine the other day and I came across a page where they featured the American School Reunion for the class of 1991. If I had been in that school, I would have attended that reunion, but some of my college colleagues were there and I could recognize a lot of the photos.

When you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you will not notice the age lines that form on your face with the passing years and you will not see the big difference until someone points it out to you. When I looked at these familiar faces in the magazine, I was shocked as they looked really older, they were not necessarily old and senile, but they looked so mature, tired and older. So I started saying to myself: WOW! If they have changed that much, I must have changed as well and if they were to see me now, they would be as surprised as I am!!!

I remember these guys when we were attending lectures and labs together, how they used to chase each other in the faculty corridors and halls, how we went together on picnics and played ball and sang together. I remember how we studied together and revised our answers after each exam and how we teased each other when we got the results and some had really high grades … it all seems like yesterday when I remember these things and now when I look at their images … I see my own reflection only 10 years later

It is really funny what a year can do to us, how about 10!!

It seems to me that time is flying and sometimes I even feel that I lost some stages in my life in my memory, as if I cannot locate a face or an event. During these 10 years, I met thousands of people, I traveled many places, worked in many companies and in many fields, fell in and out of love, formed many friendships, matured in my emotions and feelings … all that and as much as I feel that I have changed inside, when I go back 10 years, I am that young girl who did not know what the future was hiding for her …

Strange feelings of nice memories and even stranger feelings of realizing that I am no longer that young girl … I realized that I am a different person altogether and if I were to attend such a reunion, I probably would not get along with my old colleagues and friends especially that each went his/her own way after graduation. We met randomly along the years, but it was awkward and brief.

10 years would change us both physically and mentally … I wonder what things would be like 10 years from now … would I look at my current friends and get that distant feeling of nice times we had together? Or would I still have them on my side where we can look back together and capture those distant moments and smile about it? I guess only another 10 years would tell!!!

Summer is one of the most hectic most crowded times of the year. People visiting from other countries to spend their vacations because they actually do have decent annual vacations there, foreigners flooding the country to change scenes under the name of tourism and family members arriving from all over the world to spend some time with their beloveds.

The scene in Amman’s streets becomes so stressful and congested that it gets to you even if you are not the “get angry easy” type of person, so I always do my best not to think about it and whenever I am stuck in a traffic jam, I increase the volume on the radio and sing along to distract myself or think about something else to pass the time.

This is all understandable with the huge number of cars using the streets these days, and it is also understandable when there is an accident and causes the traffic jam, but what I cannot comprehend or see as acceptable is that bridal convoys that close a street or three or four sides of the way as a way of expressing happiness and joy of the happy marriage. Forget about all the cars that are packed, jammed behind and trying to make way to get to their destinations, because the whole world has to participate in the bridal convoy whether they liked it or not.

What are these people thinking? What makes them think that this behavior is acceptable? They close all sides of the street and drive on 20 km/hr to allow the happy couple to savor the experience, but what about everyone else? Are they that selfish?

In old times, maybe it was nice to witness a bridal convoy every once in a while because there were specific days for weddings. People used to hold their weddings on Fridays, so the streets were not that packed and there were not as many people or as many cars for that matter. But these days, weddings take place any day of the week, any time of the day and they are just too many!!!

It is like a bridal festival out there, with all drivers dressed up, singing and honking and we as passers by, have to live with it.

Is it too much to ask these people to take only one side of the street when they are passing so that they do not disrupt the traffic? Why don’t the government enforce fines on these convoys when they are jamming the streets? I think the groom would think twice if he knew that he would be fined if his convoy closed a vital street in Amman and he would make sure that every one knew that and abided by the instructions, but aren’t we just so fond of breaking the law and just doing things our way to prove that we are not cowards!!!

I just hate these tasteless acts of expressing joy at the expense of others, just like fire works after midnight, but that is a totally different story!!

In a world where women are labeled as bad drivers and ignorant about cars and their mechanics; I came across a piece of information that shows that we are not that far off the road. Women actually have a very interesting history with cars as an invention and they participated successfully to making this invention a better more convenient one.

It goes like this:

In 1903, Mary Anderson invented the windshield wipers.
Cleaning Up With Automobile Patents

In an era when women were not even acknowledged in some countries as “persons” and still didn’t have the vote, they managed to get their foot in the door of what is now considered a male domain - that of the automobile.

Way back in 1903, Mary Anderson invented windshield wipers, before Henry Ford ever put a Model T on the road. That’s because Mary had been on a streetcar in New York, and noticed how the driver had to lean out to clean the windows when it was raining. So she created a lever-operated arm that would scrape back and forth across the glass on the outside, while the operator remained dry inside the car. It was a success, and by 1916, all cars would be using the new fangled things to sweep aside the showers. The first automatic windshield wipers were the brainchild of Charlotte Bridgewood, president of her own manufacturing company. Unfortunately, the roller-based gear was not a success but it opened the door for other inventors.

Women took the automobile industry for quite a ride, including Helen Blair Bartlett, a geologist who invented new insulations for spark plugs. Marion Donovan, better known for inventing plastic baby pants to cover cloth diapers, was the first one to install a gimbaled boat ring in her car to hold cups.

And they were just the Jill-Come-Latelys. Because in 1871, Augusta M. Rodgers received a patent for a car heater. [Source]

Now isn’t that refreshing? Can you imagine your car without windshield wipers? or without a heater for that matter? I would confidently say that these were two great additions to an already wonderful creation of human creativity and innovation …

However; this brings something to mind; why don’t we see such great inventions these days? or are we now so used to technology that we don’t notice anymore? Are we lost among all those microchips, computers, software, car brands and blenders that a new comer does not make a bang as its ancestors used to? OR are we just out of good ideas?

What do you think?

Don’t be surprised by the title … I was almost sure that I knew this myself until I was put face to face with an unfortunate situation that showed me that it does not really matter to the community how I rate myself when it comes to success and failure because each member of this large society has his/her own definition that depends only on their own views and beliefs.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of failure is: nonperformance of something due, required, or expected. In Wikipedia, it is: failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective.
In Wiktionary, it is:
1. State or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, opposite of success.
2. An object, person or endeavor in a state of failure or incapable of success.
3. Termination of the ability of an item to perform its required function.

I find the above definitions clear and straight forward, however; when I started interpreting them according to what people classify as a failure, it was a totally different scene and one that might not only be vague but also blurry and confusing. I mean why even bother understanding what the word or the status means when almost everyone will judge you from where they are standing. It is not like being overweight because there are standards for that, it is not like being black or white, blonde or brunette or redhead, it is not like being old or young … all these things are easily detected and do not need our personal input to decide one way or another despite that our perspective might change how we deal with these things, but still; we cannot miss them. But when it comes to failure or success for that matter; how can one judge or decide if someone has succeeded or failed?

I see success and failure as two faces of the same coin, but what I fail to see is how to define the boundaries of this coin. What are the standards for success? What are the things that one has to achieve in order to be classified as successful? Is it position or money or fame or what exactly?

Everyone thought that Marilyn Monroe was so successful and that her life was glamorous, but it turned out that she was miserable and her life ended mysteriously with a global inclination to believe that she committed suicide. Elvis Presley was a role model to almost every man in his generation and everyone dreamed of a life like his, but in reality he was miserable enough to become a drug addict and that eventually killed him. Princess Diana gave up everything to be happy. We can always look at celebrities as successful people who lead lives out of fairy tales, but the truth is that we do not know how happy with their lives they are, how content and satisfied they are and how successful they see themselves.

In our part of the world, people tend to be more emotional and judge others from that perspective. I have been thinking about this for some time now and found that no matter how hard a woman works and how high she aims and reaches, she will still be considered a failure because she did not achieve the ultimate goal in due time, which is getting married and having kids.

Now I would really consider this theory and might even believe it if the woman had full control over this particular issue, but she cannot decide who to marry and make it happen like men do, she has to wait for him to propose and hope for the best, so how does this count as a failure?

The other day; I was accused of being a failure by one of the closest people to me. Maybe she took my life and compared it to hers and when she found that I did not take her path and still did not marry and had a few kids that I was a failure. It did not matter that I had a better career and a more comfortable lifestyle, I was still a failure to her because I am not Mrs. Someone like she is.

To tell the truth; what she said was hurtful and sad and I did not expect it to get to me like it did, but what hurt the most is that I realized that if the ones who know me think this way; I should not be expecting much from those who don’t, and I decided that as long as I will classify myself as a failure or a success according to my own interpretation of the words or status and to hell with everyone who does not approve because at the end of the day, those who matter would not mind while those who mind, do not actually matter.

This is one of the things that keep happening to us over the time and during all work experiences. It happens that when you start dealing with someone on daily basis, you become friends and maybe even best friends without you even noticing. You start going out together for movies or just to hang out, and then you start confiding in each other pouring your heart concerns and you talk about your personal issues with them, you ask them for advice and you give them some in return, you talk and you listen and all of a sudden you are friends who work together and not coworkers who became friends.

The question is however; is this wise?

When emotions get in the way of a professional relationship, the outcome can never be predicted and the reason is that emotions trigger reactions we can never expect and this might hurt both the business and personal relationships you share. If your conflict comes from business related matters, you might not forgive your friend for not favoring you and cutting you some slack and if the conflict is personal, you will start picking on each other at work which will affect both your works and might affect the atmosphere you share at the workplace altogether.

I am not saying that coworkers can never become friends but there is a missing ingredient in such a relationship and that ingredient is moderation and balance. If you know how to be moderate and balanced in the way you feel towards your friend and you know how to separate your professional life from your private life, you might actually get a shot at this. The other important ingredient is for your friend to understand this and be able to do the same, because this is a two way street and as they say; it takes two to make it or break it and you can never work a relationship on his own; a relationship no matter what type, needs a lot of work from all parties involved to maintain and grow it.

In my experience working in different companies and with a wide variety of people, friendship and business do not mix without consequences, and that is why they call it: conflict of interest. In our human nature, we are more likely to practice nepotism and without even noticing that we are doing so. We tend to make us excuses to our friends even if we know that they do not deserve that and sometimes, we might forgive them for mistakes that if done by someone else, they would never get the same feedback or treatment, and the problem is that the more special treatment you show, the more they will demand out of you which eventually leads to a disaster, because then the mistake gets magnified tens of times and the way back is too steep and difficult to walk.

I found out that being friends in the same workplace makes disappointments hurt much worse and reactions become emotional and uncalculated, so the chances are higher that you will end up losing this friend and maybe even consider quitting your job because you cannot handle dealing with this person on daily basis and not being able to talk to them like you used to do. I also found out that if you leave your job at one point, your relationship with your friends become stronger because you do not have to worry about the conflict of interest any more and your friend is just your friend which gives you more freedom to talk and most importantly, your work is not a talking material any more and it is not getting in the way of growing this friendship or nurturing it.

My advice to all of you out there; be careful of this dangerous mixture because the consequences are severe and if you have any doubt in your mind that you both cannot be objective enough to work through this relationship, chances are you are right and you should keep things in a clear perspective so that not to regret later. Life can surprise us and sometimes shock us with things that come from those who are closer to us the most and that’s when it hurts bad and might change your views about friends for good.

So, can coworkers be friends?

I say: probably but not likely!