I am not quite sure that this statement is true … or it might be true for certain behaviors but not the person … so do people really change??

Today was my birthday and I realized that people do not change as much as we would like to believe; they will still do that same things they always did and to a large extent, they become predictable to those around them, but again; isn’t that what we call characteristics of a personality??

I have come to find that jealous people will always envy you for what you have even if it was a piece of crap … selfish people will never learn how to give to others … angry people will never calm down and they will always find a way to make your life miserable because that is what they do … We will always lose friends to marriage … we will always have fights with our families … we will always feel stupid after we say something we don’t want to say … and it feels really silly that I am not able to talk about what is really bothering me …Do people change?

I vote … NO

My dear friend Salam sent me this link and I really enjoyed it and sent it to all my friends who would actually relate to it, i.e. moms who are juggling a hundred things per minute …

Tribute to all moms … enjoy it and learn to appreciate your moms and wives … and to all the moms out there; you should be really proud of yourselves … bless you

Great, ha???

:D

A lot of talk has been going on about government placing cameras to stop indecent acts by youths who practically are doing it in the car!! Some are saying that this is a form of religious police who will bind people’s freedoms and that our liberal Jordan will not be so liberal any more.

Let us look at this scenario a bit closely, those are against the government decision think of these indecent acts as acts of love and affection and that we as “the others” should turn the other way, mind our business, let these kids be with what they are doing and if we don’t like it to happen in front of us then we should give them more freedom to check in rooms and be out of sight.

The question is: why should I give such compromises when these kids are actually forcing their acts on me in a space that belongs to everyone? Why should I accept that what belongs behind closed doors becomes so public and normal practice? Why should I accept to expose my kids to this and how can I explain it to them? Why am I supposed to look the other way when these people are in plain sight and there for everyone to watch and see? Why should I respect their wishes when they are not even acknowledging mine?

We are not encouraging censoring people’s acts because it is none of our business to middle in theirs but when they trespass and force their actions on us right there in the public highway, well; that is totally a different story. This is an area that belongs to everyone and what we do there should be acceptable by everyone because that’s just the logical way of thinking. If I am about to do something that will grab attention or be found out of the norm, then I am in the wrong place and I should take it elsewhere.

Those who are against the move are defending the rights of these young couples to practice “love” freely, but what about everyone else’s right in not being exposed to something that is against their beliefs and standards. Why should everyone tolerate what a minority think is hip, modern and civilized? Would they accept it if those others started practicing their beliefs in public?

A while ago; a lot of people started using the side way on airport road as picnic areas and almost everyone thought this was out of place and that government should do something about it and we were all thankful when it did. Why should this scenario be different?

There was an old saying that goes like this: your freedom stops when everyone else’s starts. So it is my right to go out in the street and be anywhere and know that I will not be exposed to a scene that belongs in a bedroom especially that those streets have children and people who come from different cultures and backgrounds. Such acts will only encourage acts of hate and extremism and this is in no way for the best interest and benefit of the community at large.

This kind of thinking makes me wonder: why do we have bedrooms in our homes? If it is acceptable for us to see “love acts” in public, why are we decent at home? Why don’t people do it just in front of anyone if this is what freedom entails? Why do we need closed doors? Why do we teach our kids to be decent? Why do we teach them privacy?

As far as I know, such “love acts” in public are not acceptable in western countries as well and people look at them as indecent. Some countries go as far as placing those cameras and other countries have police officers roaming the areas at night to make sure that such violations are not taking place, so why are we calling for opening the door for something the whole world is trying to shove back behind closed doors????

It has been a bit over 10 years since I graduated university. Although I still remember it as if it was yesterday, I have to acknowledge the years’ effect on me … what 10 years can do to a person is tremendous if you come to think of it.

I was going through Layalina Magazine the other day and I came across a page where they featured the American School Reunion for the class of 1991. If I had been in that school, I would have attended that reunion, but some of my college colleagues were there and I could recognize a lot of the photos.

When you look at yourself in the mirror every day, you will not notice the age lines that form on your face with the passing years and you will not see the big difference until someone points it out to you. When I looked at these familiar faces in the magazine, I was shocked as they looked really older, they were not necessarily old and senile, but they looked so mature, tired and older. So I started saying to myself: WOW! If they have changed that much, I must have changed as well and if they were to see me now, they would be as surprised as I am!!!

I remember these guys when we were attending lectures and labs together, how they used to chase each other in the faculty corridors and halls, how we went together on picnics and played ball and sang together. I remember how we studied together and revised our answers after each exam and how we teased each other when we got the results and some had really high grades … it all seems like yesterday when I remember these things and now when I look at their images … I see my own reflection only 10 years later

It is really funny what a year can do to us, how about 10!!

It seems to me that time is flying and sometimes I even feel that I lost some stages in my life in my memory, as if I cannot locate a face or an event. During these 10 years, I met thousands of people, I traveled many places, worked in many companies and in many fields, fell in and out of love, formed many friendships, matured in my emotions and feelings … all that and as much as I feel that I have changed inside, when I go back 10 years, I am that young girl who did not know what the future was hiding for her …

Strange feelings of nice memories and even stranger feelings of realizing that I am no longer that young girl … I realized that I am a different person altogether and if I were to attend such a reunion, I probably would not get along with my old colleagues and friends especially that each went his/her own way after graduation. We met randomly along the years, but it was awkward and brief.

10 years would change us both physically and mentally … I wonder what things would be like 10 years from now … would I look at my current friends and get that distant feeling of nice times we had together? Or would I still have them on my side where we can look back together and capture those distant moments and smile about it? I guess only another 10 years would tell!!!

Yesterday, I went out with a friend of mine to one of the prominent coffee shops in Mecca Mall. You see, we like going there because it has large windows and we can sit inside while breathing fresh air and they make great coffee, so there we were on one of our favorite tables and peacefully munching our dinner when a guy and two girls came in and sat right in front of us.

Now, there isn’t anything strange about this scene as many people go out in groups and eat or drink; this is really not the issue. What was really obvious is that the guy formed a couple with one of the girls and the other girl was there like a third wheel, but that also is normal … I mean you can go out with your girlfriend and her friend might/can tag along, so we are still OK …

Some time went by and then we noticed that the girl was all touchy feely with the guy; she would put her hand over his, or just makes sure that she touches all the skin on his arm when she extends her hand to get a tissue or whatever … it was too obvious that we could not NOT notice, but we brushed it off …

After a while, the guy started touching back, by pinching a cheek here or holding a hand there … then she would sneak her hand under his arm in an attempt to hold his other hand or just touch it lightly … but we said to ourselves, well; maybe we are just too old fashioned or maybe this is the new trend in dating in Amman … who knows?

Then we noticed that there was a whole other scene under the table … they were seriously all over each other … she would but her feet over his, or he would touch her leg, or she would cross her legs only to touch him on the knee with her foot … and I was “this” close to shouting: get a room, will ya?!!!

Not only is this action tasteless and shameless, but it is also strange to happen in a public place in a mall … I am not that naive and I know that there are places where such things happen but certainly not in a coffee shop in a mall with very clear sharp lights and while you are seated very close to the next table … I mean come on! When did we lose all manners and morals … will someone tell me: is this normal???

What is happening to this generation? Even if they were engaged or married, does this justify such behavior? Is flirtation a part of dating these days? Have we become like western countries where the date should end with a kiss at the door? If this girl was seen by her father, brother or even her cousin while she was all over that guy, would she continue what she was doing without even blinking or would she worry that there would be severe consequences? If that guy saw his sister or even cousin in the position of the girl who was with him, I wonder how he would react!!

In a community that is drowning in double standards and culture of shame, it comes as a shock that we see such behaviors in public places which makes me wonder, did people stop caring suddenly? Or did the standards change? Or are we getting into a new era that has no limits or boundaries???? :S

What is it about a sleepless night that turns us into grumpy upset people? Is it that our bodies and brains did not get enough rest or is it that we are lazy creatures that cannot function unless we take off periods that make at least one third of our lives??

You can tell that I had a really lousy night and that I did not get enough sleep, add that to a hectic day full of meetings, covering for absent employees (my staff), complaints and requests flying all over the place and your friends ditching you at lunch time … if that is not a fatal combination for a grumpy lousy bad crappy mood and attitude; I seriously don’t know what is!!!

I had a meeting after work last night and it was a bit past 10 when I headed home. I wanted to pass by the supermarket to buy something and withdraw some cash, so I stopped by Safeway on my way home. Not only was it full and the people were lined up in tens waiting for their turn to reach the cash register, but the place was so full of kids :S
Wherever I looked, there were kids … they were shouting, playing race with the shopping carts and screaming at their parents that they want to buy this or that; I guess that they must have mistaken the superstore to be the park, playground or even wonderland … My God!!! What is wrong with these people?? It is a school night and kids are still shopping at 11 in the night? Is this normal? Am I being too picky here? When we were young kids, we used to be in bed by 8 or 9 max, so what are these kids still doing or more importantly, what are the parents thinking???

I just left the place without buying anything because getting anything would have meant standing in line for 15 – 20 minutes and I was dead tired by then with a bad mood that wouldn’t have been able to handle the noise so I decided to head home for everyone’s benefit including mine.

When I reached home, it was almost 11:15 and what is that? More kids in the street!!! :S :S
How are they going to be disciplined? How are they going to respect time and commitments if they cannot be trained to sleep early in school nights? Call me nuts, but I really believe that these are related and teaching these behaviors to children (positive or negative) will alter and affect the outcome of their futures.

No wonder we have so many inconsiderate people, no wonder we suffer from lack or morals wherever we go, it is not shocking then that we see rudeness as the norm, not surprising at all that we look at the polite with an exclamation point written all over our faces. It is the upbringing and the way one was raised that determines what type of a person he/she might become in the future, so if the mother was careless enough and the father was absent minded enough to leave their kids without so much to train them how to be committed serious people, then the coming generation would be a lot worse and more lost than the ones we currently have!!

Maybe this is my sleep deprived brain talking, or my deeper subconscious trying to break free, but I do believe that with each passing day, the crisis is growing bigger and a lot of people are becoming parents without being prepared for the role so they learn as they go, but I wonder where they are getting their knowledge because what we are witnessing is not a nice result by a far shot.

Having children might be the biggest responsibility one can claim by choice because you will be bringing human beings into this world, and since they did not choose to come in the first place or choose you yourself as their parent, you are obliged to do your utmost best to make sure you prepare them for life and give them a good future that allows them to move on and create more generations. Parenthood is not a journey in the park nor is it a fairy tale; it is a lot of hard work, commitment and dedication with a mix of tender loving care (TLC), parenting means that you will give up your life willingly for 20 something years until your kids are well on their way in life and even then you will still give them a big part of your life because that’s what it is all about … it is for this purpose that God demands respect and care for the parents but parents have to earn that by doing their job properly!!

I think that having children is very beautiful yet very scary, it is miraculous but risky, it is something that must not be taken lightly and I never seize to be amazed how a lot of people do just that!!!

In a world where women are labeled as bad drivers and ignorant about cars and their mechanics; I came across a piece of information that shows that we are not that far off the road. Women actually have a very interesting history with cars as an invention and they participated successfully to making this invention a better more convenient one.

It goes like this:

In 1903, Mary Anderson invented the windshield wipers.
Cleaning Up With Automobile Patents

In an era when women were not even acknowledged in some countries as “persons” and still didn’t have the vote, they managed to get their foot in the door of what is now considered a male domain - that of the automobile.

Way back in 1903, Mary Anderson invented windshield wipers, before Henry Ford ever put a Model T on the road. That’s because Mary had been on a streetcar in New York, and noticed how the driver had to lean out to clean the windows when it was raining. So she created a lever-operated arm that would scrape back and forth across the glass on the outside, while the operator remained dry inside the car. It was a success, and by 1916, all cars would be using the new fangled things to sweep aside the showers. The first automatic windshield wipers were the brainchild of Charlotte Bridgewood, president of her own manufacturing company. Unfortunately, the roller-based gear was not a success but it opened the door for other inventors.

Women took the automobile industry for quite a ride, including Helen Blair Bartlett, a geologist who invented new insulations for spark plugs. Marion Donovan, better known for inventing plastic baby pants to cover cloth diapers, was the first one to install a gimbaled boat ring in her car to hold cups.

And they were just the Jill-Come-Latelys. Because in 1871, Augusta M. Rodgers received a patent for a car heater. [Source]

Now isn’t that refreshing? Can you imagine your car without windshield wipers? or without a heater for that matter? I would confidently say that these were two great additions to an already wonderful creation of human creativity and innovation …

However; this brings something to mind; why don’t we see such great inventions these days? or are we now so used to technology that we don’t notice anymore? Are we lost among all those microchips, computers, software, car brands and blenders that a new comer does not make a bang as its ancestors used to? OR are we just out of good ideas?

What do you think?

Summer season is officially back with all its parties and family gatherings. It is like people wait all year long till these few months to finish all their social obligations whether they were weddings, engagements or even family parties. It happens to be that all graduations happen in the summer, students finish their exams in summer and holiday season also falls in the summer.

It is true that summer is easier than winter for all activities but it is turning into a summer of craziness and frenzy. By the time the sun starts shining every day and the temperature starts rising up that the girls start wearing less and less. We have become used to the mini clothes and exposed flesh with every passing year.

Yesterday was full; we had an engagement party for my sister and I have to say that I was really shocked with the outfits that the girls are wearing, as if you will not be trendy unless you wear as less as possible or as revealing as you can get away with. I remember ten or fifteen years ago, we were more shy back then and we would not wear anything that exposes more than half of our arms, but I guess people change with time or maybe we start seeing things differently when we grow older.

Anyway; the party was really nice and longer than I expected, because in these types of parties, people come and go very quickly but this one lasted for 4 hours or so. Of course; my day started really early because I had the task of driving the bride to the salon and stay with her to make sure that everything is done by the book, then drive her home, but one of her friends came over and insisted to drive her home so she followed me and the party officially started when we arrived.

Some of my foreign friends came to the party and shared the joy with me; the lovely Kinzi, Momma beans and Teta Beans and two of Kinzi’s friends; Ruth and Emilie. This was a good opportunity for them to experience a Jordanian party with all its ins and outs and they had so much fun. My eldest aunt approached Ruth asking her if she would accept marriage to her son and she was so insisting and would not let it go until they promised her that they will look for someone and get back to her. I guess that my aunt was living the American dream all the way from Jordan and was trying to assure a better future for son and no one can blame her, yalla 3o2bal el 7abayeb.

At the end of it; this was a very long happy day and I am really grateful that it ended OK and would be even more grateful if people stop wishing me a husband like saying: don’t be sad, maybe God will finally send you a husband!!!
This happened a lot yesterday and was so annoying and really impolite, but I can’t change the world as much as I can change my attitude on how to react to it!!!

This is one of the things that keep happening to us over the time and during all work experiences. It happens that when you start dealing with someone on daily basis, you become friends and maybe even best friends without you even noticing. You start going out together for movies or just to hang out, and then you start confiding in each other pouring your heart concerns and you talk about your personal issues with them, you ask them for advice and you give them some in return, you talk and you listen and all of a sudden you are friends who work together and not coworkers who became friends.

The question is however; is this wise?

When emotions get in the way of a professional relationship, the outcome can never be predicted and the reason is that emotions trigger reactions we can never expect and this might hurt both the business and personal relationships you share. If your conflict comes from business related matters, you might not forgive your friend for not favoring you and cutting you some slack and if the conflict is personal, you will start picking on each other at work which will affect both your works and might affect the atmosphere you share at the workplace altogether.

I am not saying that coworkers can never become friends but there is a missing ingredient in such a relationship and that ingredient is moderation and balance. If you know how to be moderate and balanced in the way you feel towards your friend and you know how to separate your professional life from your private life, you might actually get a shot at this. The other important ingredient is for your friend to understand this and be able to do the same, because this is a two way street and as they say; it takes two to make it or break it and you can never work a relationship on his own; a relationship no matter what type, needs a lot of work from all parties involved to maintain and grow it.

In my experience working in different companies and with a wide variety of people, friendship and business do not mix without consequences, and that is why they call it: conflict of interest. In our human nature, we are more likely to practice nepotism and without even noticing that we are doing so. We tend to make us excuses to our friends even if we know that they do not deserve that and sometimes, we might forgive them for mistakes that if done by someone else, they would never get the same feedback or treatment, and the problem is that the more special treatment you show, the more they will demand out of you which eventually leads to a disaster, because then the mistake gets magnified tens of times and the way back is too steep and difficult to walk.

I found out that being friends in the same workplace makes disappointments hurt much worse and reactions become emotional and uncalculated, so the chances are higher that you will end up losing this friend and maybe even consider quitting your job because you cannot handle dealing with this person on daily basis and not being able to talk to them like you used to do. I also found out that if you leave your job at one point, your relationship with your friends become stronger because you do not have to worry about the conflict of interest any more and your friend is just your friend which gives you more freedom to talk and most importantly, your work is not a talking material any more and it is not getting in the way of growing this friendship or nurturing it.

My advice to all of you out there; be careful of this dangerous mixture because the consequences are severe and if you have any doubt in your mind that you both cannot be objective enough to work through this relationship, chances are you are right and you should keep things in a clear perspective so that not to regret later. Life can surprise us and sometimes shock us with things that come from those who are closer to us the most and that’s when it hurts bad and might change your views about friends for good.

So, can coworkers be friends?

I say: probably but not likely!